August 14th, 2007
Office injuries, part one
I have a new day job… and I think that it’s the best one I’ve ever had.
I’m a photocopier worker – I just stand there all day photocopying stuff.
I know, it doesn’t sound that great from the outset, but here’s why it’s such a good gig:
- I get to listen to the radio all day whilst I’m working…
- I get to read whilst I’m stood around waiting for the photocopier to errr, photocopy. So far I’ve managed to read a short book every day, incluing William Burrough’s ‘Junk’, the fantastic Russian sci-fi novel ‘Roadside Picnic’ and a Michel Faber short story. Tomorrow, ‘Animal Farm’ by George Orwell.
- I get to work with my lovely wife, Ms Em… (though we’re working opposite shifts at the moment and I miss spending all my time with her terribly).
- I have time to think of what comic I’m going to draw when I get home.
- I get paid enough money.
Not bad, eh?
The only downside is due to handling so much paper. Paper cuts are inevitable, an occupational hazzard. They sting like hell and loose an abnormal amount of blood for such a thin cut. Still, it’s a small price to pay for a free mind and the warm fuzzy feeling you get from doing an honest days work.
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That makes it sound like I’m a photocopy monkey too and my job is no where near as fun as yours Mr A! But at least I don’t have to deal with the dreaded paper cut………
Yeah, sorry about that.
You are, of course right, you don’t get any of the fun that I do.
I do wish I could have a photo-monkey though, then I wouldn’t even have to press a button;
‘Photo-monkey, press it now!’
‘eep’
‘The button, Monkey, the button!’
‘eep’
‘Crap, I’ll do it myself’.
Yeah, monkeys are lots of fun at social events, parties and the like but you’ve got to watch them in the work place.
THIS SOUNDS LIKE THE GREATEST JOB EVER. I MUST GET A JOB EXACTLY LIKE IT.
I used to work at a school with my wife-to-be. When she quit and moved to another job, my break times suddenly became lonely and boring… So, I started work on a little game called GearHead to pass the time. Maybe your opposite shifts will result in a brilliant new creative project from you… or your wife.
I glad to hear that you are enjoying your new job – well at least the ‘perks’ of doing something so boring – not many people can manage to read a short story a day. My ideal job was being a mushroom picker – I used to day dream the day away – what would I spend my pools win on – it was before the lottery. When I retire I am looking forward to doing something similar.
woah woah woah this sounds like the best job ever! i am typing ridicul;ously because there is a bandaid on my index finger dure to a papercut. no, im actually serious.
DW – I tend not to ever get bored, a combination of a fertile imagination and the ability to look at most things as if it were a game… see how many things I can photocopy in an hour and then see if I can beat that the next hour.
Justine – typing with bandaids is virtually impossible. Though I imagine it is similar to having very fat fingers – you just can’t it the keys cleanly. What was on the offending piece of paper?
oh man, i dont even remember.
you know whats worse than typing with a bandaid? for i’ve become very good at typing without my index finger. whats worse than that is using the laptop mouse with a bandaid. it pretty much is not recognising my finger at all, therefore i must use my middle finger. this is difficult!
i guess you dont know what youve got til its gone. i will never take you for granted again, my beloved index finger.
i dont remember what was on it, but it was probably school work. i got a bit caught up in the excitement of writing an essay, you know how it is.