February 5th, 2008
Ugly things
As I see it you can either go around, manually removing windchimes as you find them or you can try to get people to take them down of their own accord.
Please help make this happen any way you can… even if it means scaring children.
And whilst we’re at it, any rumours that you want spreading?
Ty on 
Ben on
About eight years ago I started a rumour that mosquitoes carry leprosy. I still hear it being passed around at least once each summer, but I don’t believe it has ever gone beyond the local level.
One of the best sorts of rumours is the perennial – each year a repeated joy.
Nice touch, leprosy hasn’t been a real threat in quite a while round these parts but I think it might catch on.
I think I’d really like to start spreading that one around here. I know just enough about random diseases and such that people might actually believe me.
I once told the kids in my high school that the sky was blue because light reflected off of the oceans, and that without them the sky would be a greenish-brown color. Its been 6 years and some of my friends still believe it.
You see, music can bring back many memories, and as zombies are more active at night when music is not being played, they are drawn to the sounds of wind chimes. Common sense. Don’t tell me you didn’t know that. haha.
How about, did you know that statistically every time a phone rings a kitten dies from second hand smoke?
Nothing short of genius… though I’ve heard you can catch death off kittens too…
Warning: A girl got salmonilla poisoning from her cat
and died. She was in the habit of kissing her cat. Bits
of milk and food along with catbox fecal matter acumulated
on the cat’s paws, which were then spread onto the kitten’s
fur everytime she cleaned herself… DON’T KISS YOUR
CAT without a protective dam. It’s very dangerous.
Very nice. Sounds like one of those emails that get passed around much like viruses.
By the way, did you know that if you leave alcohol in a glass overnight, and wash the glass it was in in a dishwasher, the old alcohol will react with the dishwasher soap and may explode. With beer, this isn’t too much of a worry, but with wine and spirits, which have higher concentrations of alcohol, the danger is greater. ALWAYS RISE YOUR WINEGLASSES!!
I’ll be happy if I see any of these on Snopes.
just smothered my cigarette. my cats ruin everything. =)
Oh, Music for Zombies… It’s really just coincidence that we recorded this the day this comic came out: http://filebox.vt.edu/users/rooster/04%20Music%20for%20Zombies.mp3
Points if any one figures out who in the band is me. More points if anyone actually thinks it’s funny. [Warning, explicit lyrics, possibly offensive.]
I couldn’t stop laughing at this.
Zombie discrimination? It sounds like Dethklok but possibly even worse. Fantastic!
Yay! I’m glad you like it. Some times I think that the things we do are only funny to us: it’s good to know that it’s actually funny, to a more general audience.
Flesh Socket actually, believe it or not, predates Dethklok. Though we can’t really be claimed to have influenced them… I think over the life of the band we’ve sold about a dozen CDs. Haha. Doesn’t stop us from making more! I’ll let you know when the CD this song’s on comes out: oughta be soon, I just need to finish the art for it, all the music’s done. I think Alf put up a couple more new ones on the myspace, if you’re interested: myspace.com/fleshsocket .
Man, I’m still shocked: you actually liked it?
Thanks for the link.
Yes… I liked it. It made me laugh– a lot. We have a similar sense of humor– not so strange in the grand scheme of things, when you think about it… So don’t be too blown away- haha. I’ll check out the rest of your stuff and add you to my friends. myspace.com/imanecessaryevil.
Hey, sorry I haven’t friended you back with Flesh Socket yet… I’m having some trouble with the site. Parker, our drummer’d been administering it (not very well), and he’s without internet anymore, so it’s taking a lot more time to get it over to me than it ought to’ve. BUT I’m working on it, promise.
Oh man do I love a good zombie rumor! Perhaps I should start one.
i think I’ll start telling people that ham is good for the circulation
It’s not?
i dunno, i can’t think why it would be
I have long suspected I am a zombie, and I have two windchimes in my yard. COINCIDENCE? I don’t know.
is rumored to reward inspiration to the breaker, and embarks a wisdom to the sender.
the human brain is even more open to a romantic suggestion than a full moon.
when you stare at their back too long, or at the back of their head.
Based on personal and anecdotal experience, I’d say this one is true. Its a sensation of a weird tingly heat, for lack of a better way to describe it. Then again, I also tend to crumple when someone pretends to punch me in the stomach, so I could just be extra sensitive and/or insane.
Or attempting to spread rumours about myself.
Someone you really abhor may be visiting soon, or an unholy pact has been made between two of your enemies, or perhaps something you just said may be not too far from the truth in reality.
Your collected diabolicalness is vast and very much to your credit.
holy crap, this is the best thing i’ve seen all day.
My sister and I didn’t start a rumor, but we made up one of those kid songs, like “who stole a cookie from the cookie jar”, and when I hear kids singing it today, it’s very cool knowing that we made it up. And if you’re wondering what song it is, it’s one that starts out “There’s a place called mars, where they ladies smoke cigars…”.
Wind chimes, lol.
Let me tell you a story about my sister in law, the most sweetest lady you could ever meet.
One day she layed down to take a nap and just when she would doze off a slight breeze would blow outside setting off the wind chimes and waking her up. After about five times of this she finaly fiured she had had enough and she went outside and tore down every wind chime on her two porches and very satisfied, she went back inside to continue her nap.
this will never work. that said i have convinced children of this “fact” but i had to add ghosts and child eating monsters. i feel i am the worst elementary teacher since hitler.
really?, i think all your students will at least look back on it with wry humor, if not appreciation
maybe I’m just odd, but thinking the world is more dangerous also makes it seem just a little more beautiful
“Keine vergnügen ohne gefahr” No pleasure without danger. Slogan of Afri Cola and a true statement if ever there was one.
Just found a really good rumor about Nikolai Tesla:
http://4-ch.net/science/kareha.pl/1124662587/
Take a look at the 9th and 11th posts. It can’t possibly be true, but it’s still awesome.
“Of course Michelson Morley found that the coelestial aether was nonexistent. That’s because Tesla destroyed the aether in 1892, paving the way for his invention of the wireless telegraph (and, later, cellular phones).”
Bwa ha ha ha ha!
The only rumour i want to start is that panda and termites breed to make Pandamites, who hide underground and burn fossil fuels, causing global warming. also, they burp methane (termites do anyway), contributing more, AND they cause cancer because they ALL smoke, and it spreads everywhere and makes non-smokers breathe it. Also, cows are pirates, as they stole their methane supplies off the termites.
Well, there’s a 10% chance global warming ain’t our fault. Pandamites are the alternative.
For example: Strange U.F.O.’s were momentarily spotted during WWII by planes, it must’ve been time-travelers doing discreet operations, to subtly influence certain events without catastrophically changing history.
what a great notion to perpetuate.. when i start working on my 5 hour zombie epic film, attraction to windchimes will definitely play an important role
Hey, I started a rumor when I was deployed on the USS Nimitz in 2003 that even had the Captain of the ship thinking it might be true. It was unbelievable. From when I started it to the skipper putting it to rest took just over one week. The whole ship was talking about it. I completely fooled five thousand people.