The last question
I actually have two questions, the first being this – Seriously, what is it with cats and cardboard boxes? Is it a gateway to some feline other world, rampant, but limited curiosity, or do they just like the smell?
My second question though is this – How much do you know?
Descartes would have told you that the only thing you cannot doubt is that you are thinking… and I think philosophers have already proved even that to be in doubt, but I’m a bit more tolerant than that.
I consider the empirical method my benchmark. That is, all I know is all I’ve tested.
That includes everything from those typical high school experiments to the more informal ones that we sometimes carry out… but even so, that’s a pitiful amount compared to all the things I have learned over the years.
So here is a large chunk of what I have empirically determined to be true:
1. When tallying the colours of cars that pass, drivers of expensive looking cars will often make several passes
It’s true as far as I’m concerned – A typical experiment used to teach children about statistics and data collection – stand them at the side of a moderately busy road with a clipboard and pencil and get them to tally up the different colours of cars that pass so that they can draw graphs and such when they return to the classroom.
As it happens, this experiment can only be conducted on days of high precipitation although the reason for this is unclear.
On the day that I collected data it seemed that one sports car, yellow, made repeated passes of the stretch of road I was monitoring. I believe this to be for the sole reason of trying to impress school children whilst showing off the sports car to a more or less captive audience.
Upon returning to the classroom I discovered that whilst my results displayed the predominant colour of cars as yellow, for everyone else it was red.
2. Schools can only afford cheap thermometers
Another classic, using only a beaker, Bunsen burner, a thermometer and tap water the student is expected to show that water does indeed boil at 100 degrees Celsius.
However, according to my experiment, the boiling point of water is actually 108 degrees Celsius, leading me to know that either my water was somehow different from everybody elses’ or that the school budget had been spent on the far more trendy computer science lab next door.
3. Organic chemistry is a triumph of hope over evidence
Try any organic chemistry, try it repeatedly, try it again and find out that your results are different every time. I mean, you can say what is supposed to happen, but when it comes to knowing, all you can really know is that whatever you produce it will be both toxic and scalding hot.
4. Being the first person in the world to do something doesn’t make that something interesting
I proved this one with my thesis. Nobody cares or wants to know about how artificially created polypeptide-based neurotransmitter substances stimulate molluscan smooth muscle… not even me.
So there you go, I don’t really know anything, except how to be a smartass, and I can’t find my certificate for that.
As I sit hear, I see the news that Arthur C Clarke has just died. I am unable to link this in anyway to the post above, so I’ll just give it a mention. Sad, but predictable nonetheless.
I am a classical skeptic, so as far as I’m concerned nothing is true. That said I also believe it’s okay to be wrong most or all of the time, therefore I continue to make declarative statements regardless of the fact that I refuse to acknowledge the existence of evidence to back them up.
I skeptic therefore I am/am not?
I’m glad you carry on regardless, otherwise you’d tie yourself up in existential and logical knots before breakfast.
Cats love cardboard boxes becuase yellow.
Now you know.
Happy?
No… that just seems a cruel way of taunting my lack of experimental prowess.
Still, it is the best explanation I have heard so far.
Is it possible cats love cardboard boxes just to screw with our heads?
Arthur C. Clarke, dead?! All of the greats from the modern age of science fiction are slowly dying off. Pretty soon it’ll be up to the new batch! And cyberpunk is dead too, so that’ll be no help.
As to cats and boxes, I only have one thing to say: http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=qvc+rowe+cat&search_type=
The rest: absolutely hilarious! I ought to send this discussion of the empirical method to my old philosophy of science teacher.
I think a philosopher would rip my argument apart. The empirical method being too flawed for most… though I think that was what I was trying to point out in the first place… I don’t know… great link, Thanks Roo.
I can’t speak for all cats, but I know of at least one who preferred to sit in a box than to sit on my cold hardwood floor - including squeezing his fat rump into a shoebox when the occasion called for it.
The colors and makes of cars increase proportionally to your need of a ride and the weather. For instance, if you are outside, and it’s snowing, and you are waiting for a ride from someone driving a green Toyota Camry, the number of green Toyota Camrys that will be on the road will be ALL OF THEM EXCEPT THE ONE THAT’S SUPPOSED TO PICK YOU UP.
School clocks are set so that each second takes about 2.5 seconds to elapse. This does add up.
My mother majored in organic chemistry. When she retired at the age of 65, it was from working as a paralegal. That tells you all you need know about organic chemistry.
I don’t care if I’m the first one to know something, say something, or think something that’s boring to the rest of the world. If I’ve entertained myself, I’ve done my job for the day.
I’m terribly upset about the death of Arthur C. Clarke, and I’m fascinated that, in spite of all the death and tragedy by which I’ve been surrounded of late, Abe Vigoda is still alive, even after two death announcements.
‘Abe Vigoda lives’ t-shirts rule…
I noticed the organic chemistry paradox whilst working in the video games industry… 3 out of 5 designers at my company were OC graduates.
As for keeping yourself entertained, you’re right, it is the only thing that matters when you do something.
Fat cats in shoeboxes… is there anything better?
But what if we are only a statistical aberration,
like your yellow car? Does that make us any
less relevant? (I work and play in boxes too).
On the subject of the discoveries, I love it when I, or a friend says a combination of words so deliciously weird it’s almost positive that no one could have possibly said it before…
i
completely
understand that.
I asked my cats about the box thing, all three of them agreed it’s an attempt to return to a womb like existence.
Hey now, don’t you remember the cardboard box the refrigerator or washer came in when you were a kid? Cardboard boxes are made of awesome and win. I wish I were cat-sized, so I could play in cardboard boxes again! \o/
You obviously don’t buy enough refrigerators.
I only know that when I need to do something, I either know how to, or I dont. If I dont, I learn to do it. If I do know, then I just do it. Thats all I need to know about what I know.
Times know was used in this post, including now: 6
Cats go into boxes to experience what it’s like to be both dead and alive at once.