Angel makers
Whilst the atomic system is by far the most cutting edge angel maker, notable mentions should also be made with respect to the inventors of a biological system for liberating souls…
The Assyrians started the project way back in the sixth century BC… filling wells with ergot – a nasty little fungus that causes convulsions. There are no formal reports as to how many souls were liberated in this fashion, but it was the start of something far better.
Picking up the baton in 1346, the Tartar army hurled plague-ridden corpses into the sieged city of Kaffa. The improvements of the Assyrians earlier efforts were in the coldness and efficiency department. Not only do you have to deal with your own corpses, the vessels of the recently departed, but you can cause more by using them as ammunition.
It’s also believed that this incident caused the spread of the plague throughout Europe. At last passenger numbers began to increase. This would be the heady days of biological mass transit to heaven.
It is unfortunately, downhill for the biological system past this point, with a few aberrations. Giving smallpox laden blankets to American Indians, that sort of thing…
Fortunately, the mechanical age kept the tradition alive. Bigger, better, automatic liberation devices such as machine guns and tanks and rifles helped notch up a classic delivery of souls between the first and second world wars. It was still an inefficient design, taking months of hard work and very intensive, labour-wise.
But that was all about to change – humans had invented a new way to travel. A way that incidentally didn’t use so much fossil fuels and manpower. It was clean, quick and could carry as many passengers as you could cram in.
Thank god for the atomic bomb.
One of the funniest things in this funny world, to me, is “A Martian Odyssey” by Stanley Weinbaum. It was written in the early 1930s, and in it, he predicted using atomic energy to power a space vessel to the moon, but did not predict that the public would NOT have to buy a ticket to the movie theater in order to see the footage.
That’s the future for you, always trying to prove a prediction wrong in some way.
…and doesn’t the atomic engine fail?
Oh, and the story always reminds me of Bowie songs.
Brilliant, as usual.
Though I have to say, in all seriousness, that the atomic bomb doesn’t really look like a bad solution to all our problems. I mean, we’re all pretty miserable anyway, even those of us that don’t know it.
Vonnegut wrote, and I wiki-paste:
“There are plenty of good reasons for fighting,” I said, “but no good reason ever to hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty Himself hates with you, too. Where’s evil? It’s that large part of every man that wants to hate without limit, that wants to hate with God on its side.”
Sound familiar?
All Vonnegut is going to sound a little familiar, especially to me… If there were such a thing as a Humanist bible, Asimov would be Genesis and Vonnegut Refalations.
But on the flipside we have ergot to thank for lysergic acid another translator of souls…
The bit that frightens me the most is the frequency with which we slaughter each other. Killing doesn’t seem to be an aberration so much as something that rests in our dna and raises it’s ugly head when ‘opportunities’ arise……Uganada, Darfur, Somalia, Bosnia, Cambodia, Auschwitz.
Or, as the Terminator put it: “It’s in your nature to destroy yourselves”.
And – I couldn’t let this one go:
“downhill for the biological system passed this point”
Gets a wave of the spelling wand to become:
“downhill for the biological system past this point”
Hooray for sticklers!
Melva, I was thinking about what you said here last night. Is it just natural human behaviour… I think I agree with the Terminator.
Franzy, you’ve known me long enough to know how much I appreciate sticklerism and pedantry. Seriously, thanks for spotting that – it’s now changed as suggested.
I was thinking about this also last night.
Actually, I have thought about it before aswell.
I wonder how well we as a species would cope with real peace?
Would we be able to tolerate the lack of conflict and commotion?
We are naturally competitive for a reason.
not quite so quick and clean, researching the aftermath of Hiroshima was troubling.
i think there’s anime based off the eyewitness accounts, “barefoot gen” apparently it traumatized my history teacher
Don’t forget the slow ways we kill each other too.
Second Hand smoke, Marriage and Office cubicals.
Atomic energy can be used for good purpose but
these everyday slow-death things are purely evil.
Interesting statement in that comic.
I read it a few times and got a different take on it each time.
When I have silenced my alter egos and other personalities, I will decide which I prefer.
Same here; I couldn’t decide if Adam was being angry, fatalistic, or pacifisticalistic. Maybe he’s not sure either.
he might have been sure before, but now that you’ve given him that last option he surely is sure no longer.
I’m never really that sure… but in this case, I think I was ‘damning with praise’.
Needless to say I’m very much against the notion and use of such weapons… Bring back the good-old-bad-old days where you had to stare at your victim as their life leaked out of them.
If you threaten your alternative
personalities with MAD (mutually
assured destruction), maybe you
could get a working version of you.
I have considered that.
Unfortuently more than half of them of extremely self destructive and the rest would do it just to see what the hell happens.
Damn their inquisitive minds.
Well, since it’s in our DNA to kill each other, vis a vis, et cetera, nunt quam pax aeterna et spiritu sancti, it’s not “evil” to kill each other, but perfectly natural. Cogito ergo, we should be happy that our DNA has found such efficient ways of transporting ourselves away. And saddened that moralistic : ( people should ignore their natural inclinations and stop us from doin’ wut comes nat’ral. : ( : ( I rue the day the governments take our guns away…. :: cries tears ::
Dang man, the system stripped my sarcasm tags, now you don’t know what I meant for real and what I didn’t! ;;
That’s harsh, sorry.
WordPress is being a bit millitant at the moment on tags and such.
We could assume all is said in jest and sarcasm (I find that always works for me)… or we can assume that you mean it all straight… either way works.
“We could assume all is said in jest and sarcasm”
That’s going to be my new mantra.
if my peers adopted that it would save me a lot of trouble.
why is everything taken so seriously by those dramatic high schoolers?
My friend Steve has a similar saying, one which allows us to say anything to each other, which is –
“If I meant it, I wouldn’t say it”
Just appened to any insult, true or not.
Okay, I was being totally serious.
In fact our dna has found a perfect way to help us in our endeavor to be transported …………..
……poor replicating of cell info and subsequent old age leading to death……..
Bloody crappy analogue systems.
Isn’t DNA more digital? AGTC-things with their 3 base word-length (I think)?
Duplication method is more analogue tho.
Or maybe we are just copying onto cheap cd’s?
I think Roo is the DNA expert.
ben, your last comment makes me wish that between us we had an expert in all major fields
think about it guys
i would never need school again
I’m all for that… A Flowfield Brain Trust is just the ticket.
I’m eventually going to mention “Flowfield University” in my web-comic… it just sounds so appropriate.
Um, well I am a expert in everything, so we are right too go.
*looks smug*
Sheesh, no-one commented on my misuse of “a” and “too”.
bah humbug
You’re the expert, who are we to check *you* for typos???