Houmous not
Houmous, hummus hamos, hommos, hommus, hummos, hummous or humus…
I quite like the taste of the stuff. I don’t even mind the smell of it.
Just as long as it’s mine – If it belongs to someone else then it’s Satan’s dip, as far as I’m concerned.
It belongs to the much misunderstood food group of anti-social foods.
It’s fine to eat them in private, or even at a restaurant or such, so I can see the confusion – If it’s OK to eat them there, why would it be wrong to eat them in front of colleagues and complete strangers?
Well, it’s mostly a smell thing, or a sound thing, or sometimes both.
Perhaps the incident that explains it best is the time I went to see Pan’s Labyrinth at the cinema. It’s not something I do regularly because the cinemas near where I live (we have two) are pretty patchy when it comes to programming. One is a blockbuster only affair and the other is bordering on dull arthouse only, however, a few slip through the net and Pan’s Labyrinth was one of them.
I even remembered my glasses, and fortunately they turn the volume up so loud in these places that even I can hear things, in Dolby surround no less.
So, it was with much frustration that about 10 minutes into the film a lady in front of me opened up a lunch box and pulled out a tub of houmous. It was with real anger, however, that I observed her reaching for carrot sticks to dip into it.
The combination of loud, open-mouthed crunching and the unique tang of houmous in a cinema was almost enough to make me get up and commit several acts of violence.
…but I didn’t… I sat there and seethed to myself.
And that’s why the anti-social food group is particularly misunderstood, because people are generally too polite to interrupt someone when they’re eating, and if they did it wouldn’t be to tell them that their food stinks and that they’re eating like a two-year-old.
I suspect that everyone has experienced something similar but at some point though, this resentment will become to much to hold in, en mass.
And that’s why civilisation will end because of chickpeas and garlic.
Philip J Schadenfreude on 
Hmmm…. maybe I should stop bringing into the office tzatziki for lunch…?
Aaah … get over it!
I f*****ng love humous!
Although, I’ve never brought it anywhere and people who chew with their mouths open around me get told exactly what kind of farm animal they are in extremely short order. Carrot sticks at the movies? How about a carob-top tofu ice cream?
The first time I tried that stuff was at the end of last year round my friend’s house. He was throwing a dinner-party type thing for my birthday.
I was nearly sick. In fact, I kinda was.
Never again.
Also, he clearly did not follow the rules of it being anti-social. And utterly disgusting.
I hate homus (you missed that spelling).
The sound of some one eating carrots makes me want to do very aggressive and violent things to them. My mood goes from genial to psychotic with the first crunch sound.
Slurping is another thing that irritates the fuck (since we are using that word) out of me.
I feel angry just thinking about it.
Umm I think that might be a registered phobia…….Sitophobia or Sitiophobia……………
Please stop making these “comics” (are they supposed to be funny?). They’re really bad, and I keep finding them on Stumble Upon. I’ve “thumbed down” 20-30 yet I keep getting sent to them.
Thanks
Hi, Duncan,
So, I’ve thought about your request, and well, I’ve decided to tell you to shove your request into whichever orifice you chose.
You see, I don’t make these comics for Stumbleupon, I make them for myself and I let people see them if they want to.
I never force anyone to read them, there is no gun to your head.
And similarly, I’m not the one putting them on Stumbleupon, so why don’t you go round the whole of the internet and tell them to stop doing it?
The reason you obviously keep seeing my comics is that quite a lot of people give them the thumbs up, so maybe you want to have a word with them too.
And what’s up with putting the word ‘comics’ in inverted commas like that, are you suggesting that what I make isn’t a comic or a cartoon? Are you the comic police, is that it?
Hell, what have you made that is so great that you can go around telling people what to make? Go on show us.
[i]Hell, what have you made that is so great that you can go around telling people what to make? Go on show us.[/i]
He made hummous.
As it happens, Duncan did leave a reply to this…
However, being a total coward he used a fake email address and just decided to spam using his own rendition of Harry Potter.
Seriously, Duncan, that means you must have been watching this site to see if I had made a reply… why would you keep checking up on a site you obviously don’t like?
And if you stand by your comments, use your real email address and we can talk this out, y’know…
I could come over to Madison if you like.
You’re a f***ing to**er Duncan.
“Oh no, I saw something on the internet that I didn’t like”
Well f**k me, is this the first time?
Do you waste 10mins of your time every time it happens?
Get a job.
And a haircut.
f**kwit
Fark me, my emotional content was censored!
But that twerp wasn’t.
Sorry Ben, my mother reads this site from time to time and I’d get a stern talking to for that…
… As it happens I have censored Duncan… you should see some of the stuff he’s tried to post… much as I dislike censorship in general. I’m working on the problem – if he stops I’ll leave it there, if he continues I have been advised to contact his service provider with a cease and desist order for spam and obscenity.
In the meantime I suggest everyone just ignores him and I will delete any comments he makes.
aw, but my flowery language is great;(
Hey you do know that we have been getting the paedophile Potter stories via email?
Right?
Is that as a ‘this person has left a comment’ type notification or are they mailing you directly?
Good morning/evening Adam.
It is just notification of left message.
If he was emailing me directly, well, I forward him all the dirty emails I get.
Fair is fair, crap erotic fiction gets vundo virus.
Wait, you have a mother?
Hi Adam’s mum!!!!! *waves*
i have no idea what youre ranting about, i have never found it (notice careful evasion of having to spell the word) to be particularly pungent. next time i have it ill probably be put off. oh, and ill try not to eat carrots too loudly whilst browsing the comment thread.
oh, adam. ‘people are generally TOO polite’, please. misuse of tos really bugs me.
Noted and corrected, thanks.
You are a living saint for not ripping off the armrest/cup-holder and attacking that lady with it. Seriously.
Here in Korea, they sell dried squid at the movie snack bar. If just one person in the theatre is eating it everyone else can tell.
It’s funny that because the popcorn at my local cinema actually tastes a bit like dried squid…
And if there is one thing that tells me, undeniably that I’m British it’s my ability to internalise all frustration to my own detriment.
“Being British is being too shy to tell the woman you love you’re attracted to her, and then spending the rest of your life in a sham marriage, feeding off your own self hate”
-Robin Ince, The Now Show
I happen to like hummus and baba ghanouj as well. I’ve even been known to sneak boxes of candy and juice pouches into the movie theater. I do not see myself ever EVER bringing hummus to the movies with me.
What is with that plonker Duncan? Adam reading your sketches and blurbs are one of the highlights of my day. (Does everyone know what a plonker is or is that just a kiwi saying?)
Thinking of eating in movies reminds me of all the times - as a kid and as an adult- we’ve let whole packets of jaffas roll noisily down the centre isles. (Jaffas are marble like orange coloured chocolate filled hard lollies.) MMMMmmmm jaffas
I just don’t know, I mean what exactly motivates people like him?
As it happens, ‘Duncan’ was dumb enough to leave a trace of his IP address when he posted… we know (roughly) where you are Duncan, and we know that you’re on your own… Wisconsin, eh?
Anyway, I’ve decided to count it as spam since no reasonable conversation could be had.
I have no problem with people coming here and telling me they don’t like my comics, I’m all for open discussion, but it must be that, a discussion, and if you have to resort to copying and pasting dodgy fan fiction all over my site I’ll just ban you.
Plonker is also a UK thing… As in the sitcom ‘Only Fools and Horses’.
And thanks, I’m glad that my stuff brightens up your day.
Yeah, what was with that paedophile version rip off of HP?
I think that tells us alot about Mr D.
It’s a bit sad really. I think he needs help.
very familiar
however, if exposed to unwanted houmous-eating over a long period of time you no longer have the energy to seethe, and it turns out its easy to say ‘do you mind opening the window?’, and then wonder why you didn’t do that in the first place!
…and therefore civilisation is safe again!
I thought you might appreciate that one… nearly mentioned it on Friday, but then you said you were checking the site so I thought I’d leave it for you to find.
Wow… drama drama.
What erks me are those people that open candy wrappers really slow at the movies. It’s the same amount of noise people! Just drawn out! Get it over with and rip it like a bandage. Oh, that and people that eat chips/crisps at the office while working, cube walls aren’t thick enough.
Yar. Americans don’t have that problem. We were at the movies (my family) and this lady had a huge plastic bag with who-knows-what in it… heads of lettuce maybe? I sat there for 5 minutes as she struggled to do to that bag whatever it was she wanted to do… finally I said, “For God’s sake, lady, put the bag down!” It was a great moment. (she shot me a dirty look but she set it down)
“For God’s sake, lady, put the bag down!”
If, by whatever chance, I get to make a feature film, I’ll use that line…
I think you’ve just summed up how every Englishman feels inside.
Feel free, my legal department finally wrested the rights to it from some anti-shopping league.
*Pictures legal department in spandex*
Heh, that’s “wrested” not “wrestled”. : D
But you know, I did the exact same thing.
Is it wrong that I love all of you and I know nothing about any of you. (Except that Adam is Too-Nice-For-His-Own-Good.)
man, i love this cartoon. it made me laugh, and i too hate the smell of hummus and the sound of open mouthed crunching. there’s a guy who sat a couple feet away from me at the office, on a weekend so it was quiet, and for 3 hours ate potato chips one at a time, mouth open, one after the other and when he finished one back he’d open the next. he worked that way all day and does it every day. like he can’t think without crunching noises in his head. doesn’t he realize that other people can hear it? and can’t concentrate because of it? wtf????
cheers.
No problem, and I’m glad it gave you a laugh… despite obviously opening up a whole can of worms, mentally speaking.
I believe it is totally legal to smack someone round the side of their head for doing that with crisps… I think they even print it on the packets these days.
Or… maybe the crunching silences the voices in his head.