Fitting
It’s a safe bet that most of you will carry around keys that you hardly use, if ever. It’s a slightly more risky bet (but one I’m going to take) that some of you carry keys that you have no idea what they unlock.
It’s human nature, I think, to hoard old and seemingly useless keys. Perhaps it’s a survival strategy… you never know when you might find yourself locked in a room and that key that you’ve been hanging on to for years just happens to fit the lock. It works like that in computer games anyway – when was the last time Link picked up a key to find that it didn’t unlock a critical door at some point?
Perhaps it’s better that you learn how to pick locks.
And if what they say is true, that the more keys you carry the more responsibilities you have, does that include keys you don’t use?
So, who here has the most responsibilities? I doubt it’s me. I have three keys normally about my person – I don’t drive, so that just leaves the front and back doors to my house, plus one of those pointless keys that I’ve picked up at some point…
…at work it’s a little different. I have maybe twenty or so on any given day, but that isn’t caused by responsibilities, no, it’s purely a matter of security.
And I’d like you take take a moment to reflect upon the life and work of Albert Hofmann, who died yesterday, aged 102. He was Switzerland’s first space cadet.
justine on 
Lets take a look at this metal lump pulling down my pants pocket… apartment outside door key, my apartment key, car key, ‘the club’ key so they dont steal my car, office building key, our office key, mail box key, bike lock key, laundry room key. I guess i dont need to carry all of these, but if i didn’t i’d forget them. I also keep a old gift card underneath my doormat in case i need to break in my apartment and i only locked the bottom lock. I thought that only worked in movies untill i tried it.
Things I’ve learned from films that don’t really work out in real life –
Using a urine soaked shirt and broken table leg will not help you break out of prison.
The Delorian is a rubbish car and has no time travel features whatsoever.
Doors may look easy to kick down, but rarely does it take less than ten kicks.
Fortunately, using some sort of credit card on Yale latches works like a dream so long as the door has no outer lip on the frame.
I once broke into a building that was under construction with the end of a pair of sunglasses. No fooling.
I have three keys: mailbox, front door, and the front door to my Mom’s house (where I used to live.) To say I carry them is a bit of a fib though, as I rarely actually go outside, so they usually sit in a little cup next to my computer monitor with my wallet and watch. Though there’s also a mini-flashlight on my keyring that I use a lot more than my keys.
“I once broke into a building that was under construction with the end of a pair of sunglasses.”
That’s some serious spy skills you have there.
You’ve brought up an interesting side point there, not just the keys, but all the trinkets and tools attached to them.
Trolls, what happened to them things?
I normally carry no keys and at most have one house key but only if I know I will be coming home to a locked door. Funnily enough I am very bereft of responsibility.
Really, none? That’s impressive…
For someone without keys I would normally suggest that they live in a really hi-tech environment, where everything is opened by biometric means… or they live in a cardboard box.
I think I’m winning - 2 door keys and a little electronic door-pass tag thingy.
All in regular use, I know what they’re all for… nothing redundant here.
Also a teeny screwdriver that’s just the right size for certain fiddly little computer screws, and an LED light, which is the only thing on the keyring that’s scarcely seen any use
But one day… I’ll find some desperate need for a small and convenient source of light.
Screwdrivers, or as we call them, universal keys… there’s not much you can’t get into with one.
As for the tiny light source, you can at least send visual Morse code at night…
..
…. ._ …_ .
._
_ ___ ._. _._. …
Is it, I Have a torch??
11 keys. I know what 9 of them do. Five of them are for various suitcases that we own. One of the others is for a friend’s apartment in Vancouver; I think he’s moved since I was there last so it’s probably useless by now. I use it for prying stuff open. The other keys I keep because they make me look important.
My keyring contains a Newfoundland stamp from back when we were a country. The picture on the stamp is a sealing fleet sailing out of a harbor. I doubt I could be any more ethnic if I tried.
OK, that has to out you in the lead so far…
“It’s probably useless now” - unless you have a thing for wandering around strangers apparments…
and that sounds like some nice ‘ring bling. Nothing says Newfoundland like a sealing fleet.
House key…that’s it, don’t even need a ring. I walk everywhere and having more keys on my ring is a burden. As an attentive and involved father my responsibilities are numerous, endless, and vast.
hmm, that made me think. i thought i didn’t have many keys, since about a year ago i got rid of unnecessary stuff (like a small swiss knife) from my key ring. but it turns out i still have seven keys. fortunatelly, i know what they’re for. two to my apartment door, one for the door to my floor, one to the building door downstair, one for mailbox and just one of those, which i don’t use, but somehow think that one day may come in handy - a hancuffs key.
and an alarm key, that’s the seventh one. damn, i must seem paranoid. but i guess that’s normal where i live (Poland).
Ahh, you live in Poland…
There’s been a lot of talk over here in the UK regarding Polish immigrants, it’s all very silly xenophobia really.
I live in quite a diverse part of town and some of my neighbours are Polish… the only thing that worries me is that they have started stocking Polish foodstuffs in the local shop, and well, I can’t actually tell what some of it is: The labels are in a language I can’t speak and the jars seem to be packed tight of all manner of things… a bit like cabbage and meatstuffs… can you tell me what these things might be?
But from your comment it seems that you’re suggesting either Poland is a bit rough, or as a nation they have a thing for keys?
rough… i don’t know if i’d call it rough. though there are ocassional cases of burglary and, more often, simple vandalism.
as for the food, from your description i’d assume it’s either ‘GOLABKI’ (meaning ‘pigeons’, but it has got nothing to do with what it’s made of), which is meat and rice rolled in to cabbage or ‘BIGOS’, which is basically cooked cabbage with different kinds of meat and sometimes mushrooms. both are edible, but to tell you the truth, may seem a bit heavy on the stomach and, um, sour, i guess. if you’re ok with north/east european kitchen, then you should like it
Turns out it was Bigos…
I might pluck up the courage at some point to actually give it a whirl. I’m OK with sour… just not so OK with ‘unidentified’.
wuss
Speaking of unidentified, I love freaking people out by wearing actual leather. I inherited a few pieces from grand parents and great grandparents. Notably a deerskin jacket from my grandpa. I remember when I wore it to school (back in the day), and all the noisy dancers were pawing at it saying how soft it was, and I grinned and told them it was deerskin. There was a lot of shrieking and flipping out and accusing me of animal cruelty, killing poor little cute baby deer.
I still freak people out. People just aren’t used to real animal hide and fur anymore, it’s kind of sad, really.
I have to carry 3 personal danger locks and a key with me at all times whilst working.
To not have them is a step (3 steps and you’re fired), to not use them when required is 3 steps and to use them and not remove them is a minimum of a carton of beer.
They are to lock out and isolate equipment when we are working on them so that that equipment can’t be operated whilst we are in a vunerable position.
The personal danger lock is sacred, the person who fitted it, must be the only person capable of removing it. If you fit it and leave site, they will recall you to site, regardless of where you are. Unless you leave site in the back of an ambo.
Other wise, I have a room key, my car keys, my gf’s house key, a mates house key, my locker keys, spare personal danger lock keys, an assortment of padlock keys and I think that is it.
I make a point of not carrying more then 2 keys on me as much as is possible. Normally a car key and an accomodation key. I like empty pockets.
Those are serious keys… ‘danger locks’, it sounds a bit like Goldilocks, but with added mechanical parts.
I also like the three steps thing, it’s sort of like AA but in reverse… you get steps for relapses.
“Unless you leave site in the back of an ambo” – Does that happen a lot? Is it the usual way to leave a site?
Not normal for ppl to leave the work site in the back of an ambo.
We don’t have many half way injuries, they are either so sligh as to need only minor first aid or are a full scale stretcher the person out and wonder what limb they are going to lose.
But, it has been over 50 days since a lost time injury, so that is nice.
We do almost constant training in thinking safe thinking and work practices.
But no training in reading what we type before posting:(
oh, surely lockpicks count as infinite keys, so there fore they must carry infinite responsibility?
no car, no work…i have one home key. its attached to my wallet. why do i feel so weighed down with responsibilities sometimes?
oh man, link just doesnt give up. when he finds a locked door he goes on a puzzle-solving rampage cos he KNOWS hes gonna get the right key. plus hes got a map leading to it.
“why do i feel so weighed down with responsibilities sometimes”
I’m afraid I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you’re a sort of magnet… or because people take advantage of you and you’re kind nature…
Can you imagine a situation where if you lost anything, all you had to do was buy the appropriate map?
I carry a lot of keys,
each having been useful for a time.
They keep my 24 hour fitness card
company, in case I lose my keys.
Mostly, I have faux responsibilities.
I look busy but i’m really reading
fashion magazines and blogging.
Let’s see, car key that I only use when I visit my parents, mailbox key, apartment key, key to my parent’s house, old old old key to my childhood house. Seriously, it’s made out of iron and it’s an actual old-style key. The locks were probably changed by now, though.
Oh I’d hold on to that key just for kitsch value. Or if you ever find yourself traveling back in time and happen to be in a time period where it might actually be of use! Like how Doc Brown carried money from various periods in the Delorean!
I only have one key, and it took some figurative arm-twisting to be allowed the house key. Whereas my sister just up and got one, and she doesn’t even need it. Grah, the joys of being the firstborn.
Anyway, I collect keys, as does my lover. Keys are soooo pretty. Like cogs and clocksprings.
It’s way easier to just take the door off the hinges.