Cover songs
I wasn’t able to draw a comic yesterday, I was too busy drawing some of the covers for the new book… so I thought I’d let you have a look at one of them instead.
You’ll notice that there is a blank box, just below the title. That’s for the subtitle, and each book will have it’s very own, unique tag line.
So, I was thinking maybe you’d like to contribute to the books as much as you have to the website… I’m planning on selling a fair few of these and I’ll be needing a fair few tag lines… would you like to suggest any?
The trick is keeping them fairly short, but as I’ll be using several different covers (mostly, because I can), so there’s always a chance I’ll be able to fit some longer ones in too.
Right, I’m off… I need to stitch some more copies together and the glue vapours won’t inhale themselves.
The first one I came up with was this:
“Try it frozen!”
Then I came up with this, but didn’t want to trigger a political discussion, but I laughed too hard to let the joke die with me:
“Choosy Moms Choose Life!”
It’s a portmanteau of Jif Peanut Butter’s long-time slogan “Choosy Moms Choose Jif!” and “Choose life.”, which (while it has older usages) has been used recently as an Anti-Abortion slogan (and can be seen on special Anti-Abortion license plates available in Florida.)
I suggest more food-based ones. I’d probably have more if I had any snack food in the house. I have some cookies but they don’t have anything good on them. Stupid Keebler.
You have to wonder about that… displaying your political views on licence plates… or bumper stickers.
It’s a bit crass, and very un-christian, since it’s basically like shouting your opinions at complete strangers.
A car, near where I live, has the slogan ‘choose life, your mommy did’… now, Americanisms aside (‘mommy’ is not a very British term, certainly not here in the north), the text is a bit ambiguous. I mean, we all know it’s anti-abortion, but it could easily offend anyone who has had their maternal parent die.
I wanted to get a variant of that sticker to replace it. I wanted it to read, ‘choose life… ban the death penalty’, then I’d consider us all square.
‘Try it frozen’ is a really good one, it fits too! Yay for snack treats.
*Realises hypocrasy in last comment considering the post a couple of weeks ago about wearing badges and sloganised t-shirts… remains unapologetic*
Everyone’s a hypocrite, some people just hide it better.
It’s particularly crass when the politician that the person is supporting is offensive to begin with. I worked with a fellow that had a (I kid you not!) “Santorum For Senate” Sticker on his car. Now, I would have just thought he’d found it humorous, what with the way Santorum’s political career ended, due to Dan Savage’s charming re-branding of the politician’s name. But no. He also had a “Bush 2004″ sticker.
Some people really enjoy shouting opinions at complete strangers. Because they’re crass. Let’s just say I’m glad I live in a more liberal place now.
That’s genius… appropriating someone’s name for a rather off term.
The idea that homosexuality is akin to bestiality is offensive for so many reasons that I don’t know where to begin… The only time a bumper sticker for that would be any good was if it were attached to a car that was repeatedly running Santorum over.
It’s not irony, but it’s close enough for me.
I think I might design some ‘replacement stickers’ for right minded folks to stick over the offensive ones… I’m not talking about anything offensive myself, something along the lines of ‘I love you all’ or similar… something that everyone can appreciate.
I know it would be technically classed as vandalism, but hey, for the right cause.
‘You are not your bumper sticker’
I’d a friend that had a “Mean People Suck” bumper sticker. Some one came and carefully razorbladed it apart and re-arranged the words so that it read “Suck Mean People.” The funniest part was that it was about a month between when it happened (we’re guessing – might’ve been longer) and when she noticed it!
Speaking of modifying bumper stickers, I’ve always thought it’d be hilarious to cut out little feet from sheet magnets, like those silly adverts for lawyers are made of, that come in the phone book and you’re suppose to stick on your fridge. paint them metallic silver, and then go around sticking them under the ichthyses that obnoxious evangelicals always have on their cars, to turn them into Darwin Fish. Perhaps a little irreverent, but down here, anyone driving around with an ichthys is liable to be a creationist. The funniest part is, it’d probably take them a month to realize it’s there, and if you use magnets, it’s not vandalism, is it?
*queue evil laughter*
The Folwfield Unity: Uniting Fields That Flow. The.
Ace. I don’t know why but I had a proper giggle at that. It’s in.
\o/
When do we get to part with our hard-earned for this, BTW?
Hopefully, I’ll be launching it this week…
…I’ve been trying to make a few stock copies, so that I don’t get too overwhelmed by initial orders…
Plus, I’ve been waiting for the results of my tests… destruction testing mostly, comparing them to the books I originally had printed from Lulu. initial results are encouraging. The Lulu books are a little more likely to lose pages after rough handling (though even then they’re pretty good)
I also wanted to get a few cover designs sorted and printed so that I can make each book as individual as possible, and I needed to write up about the books themselves, explaining how and why they are made like they are.
The initial release will be the 80-page paperback, with the 160-page hardback edition released a little later in the year.
I’ve also been getting orders in from various indy bookstores across the globe so that we can have a general release… but they’ll probably be cheaper to buy direct from me and this site.
Thanks for holding on, it’ll be worth it.
Could use the punchlines from the comics… even if they make no sense out of context.
“Turns out it’s load-bearing paperwork” would be a good one though.
Or faux safety warnings like “In case of adverse reaction, discontinue use”
“Store in a cool dry place away from direct sunlight”
“For external use only”
“Suitable for vegetarians”
“May contain nut traces”
“Not intended for human consumption”
“Avoid contact with eyes and skin”
“If ingested, seek medical advice”
There hundreds of these kinds of things, there are even books that compile the stupidest ones.
Or (similar to Joe Bivens suggestion) put on recipe ideas or serving suggestions, just hunt around on food packaging for ideas for those.
“If ingested, seek medical advice”
This is a GREAT one.
OH!
“0 Grams Trans Fat”"
With an asterisk because most foods that say that still have Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Oils in them and therefore are not actually Trans Fat Free.
Checks book making materials…
I could do a full list of calorfic content and such, just like you get on foodstuffs.
By my workings, there’s plenty of fibre and it’s fairly low in calories…
Hey, no artificial colourings!
Not sure how much trans fat there is… I shouldn’t have used butter instead of ink…
‘supernova sunset’?
i’ve had that phrase rolling around my head
That’s pretty.
The first thing that comes to mind is:
“ART!”
But it’s a little short, and maybe a little pretentious. What about:
“Magic swirls of extra goodness!”
Though I think that may have been influenced by the food-related comments above. Hmm. If I had to sum up the whole comic in one line, how would I do it? Or, rather, what makes the book different than the online version of the comic. That might be worth addressing:
“A book of Great Comics; lacking in engaging comment threads, however.”
Or:
“These had no pixels, then they had pixels, and now they don’t anymore. But they still have a certain DPI, so that’s alright.”
Which might be a bit long, don’t you think? Concerning the comic itself, you could use something like:
“Giving geekdome class since ____.”
And I realize I don’t actually know when you started doing these. But that’s what’d go in that blank, the year you started. Oh! And that reminds me of that ridiculous kid from StumbleUpon:
“Warning! May contain subtle humour.”
To which you could append “May not be fit for _____.” Where the blank would be something more polite, and funnier than, dipwads. May not be fit for realists? People with short attention spans? Hmmm. Well, you’re the humourist here, I’ll leave it to you.
And, now that I’ve rambled on for a bit, I think it’s wel past my bed time, and I shall retire. A good night to you all!
Well I’ll be, my box is different! Is it because I capitalived my email, maybe?
I’d be tempted to write ‘ART’ backwards… ‘TRA’.
Which is funny as it is essentially a northernism… T’ Ra… which is what we say to mean ‘goodbye’. (sometimes written as ‘tara’: http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/41/messages/198.html)
“And I realize I don’t actually know when you started doing these. But that’s what’d go in that blank, the year you started”
Y’know, even I’m finding it hard to remember when this actually started officially… over 300 strips later and I’ve lost count of the days. I might just make up loads of random dates.
Thanks, Roo, that’s some nice work.
ah, and in australia we have been known to say ‘too-ra’ in the same fashion
I did not know that… I wonder if that stems from the North’s rich history of criminality and deportation (there’s a saying that the cars around here drive around on bricks… because so many of them have their wheels stolen).
Interesting. I’d no idea. hmmm.
“A R T | T R A”
Ah, regional variations are pretty cool.
Ah! It was. Interesting. So much variation.
“William Blake, post head injury”
“A nosy, gritty little red. Drink quickly as a dare.”
“Bupkiss!”
“Powering up entropy since ___”
“Chew each one 32 times”
“Your mum says it’s cool. Your granny plays guitar.”
“Ink one out and re-load.”
“Red thigh in the morning, sheriff’s warning.”
“It’s too late.”
“Show up at 9am. Bring a lunch.”
“The reincarnated-Plato potato.”
“Shoot around corners.”
“Sing great shouting glory for the national triumph.”
“The Texta tea party”
Is it wrong to refer to Blake as ‘Billy’… I really like that one, the guy is sort of a hero (he invented his own printing technique, and made most of his books by hand), I was lucky enough to see a collection of his work in Manchester. Blew me away, it did, there’s so much energy spewing out on to paper.
They’re all great, really great.
“A nosy, gritty little red. Drink quickly as a dare.” – I’ll use that one on the copy I’m taking down to the pub (to get a few pre-orders and such) It’ll go down very well, so to speak.
And, whilst I say this probably once a month, ‘shoot around corners’ will now be the name of my band, should I ever be in one (replacing ‘competition speedcube’).
Thanks Franzy.
ive no suggestions, but i wanted to point out the absurd nature of this circuit…look, theres the power source, right up the top (ac or dc i wonder?), and then it goes to…the adam york gregory sign, in an indirect way. ah, and a different wire heading towards the flowfield unity sign. wow, and i just found the light globe! so then theres a resistance in the middle of nowhere…not sure about that…then it feeds to the pi, the aeroplane and the brain. then it earths. huh.
Are you implying that the circuit is nonsense?
You’d be right, it’s intentionally so… I don’t want to get all ‘artist’ about it, but my thinking was to represent the book, a non-digital artform as a sort of obsolete and broken circuit, full of components that make no sense in the analogue setting.
The cell would be DC current… there’s a different symbol for AC, just can’t remember it off the top of my head.
You get massive amounts of geek points for knowing what the symbols are for too.
“Everyone you know is going to die!”
“Contents under pressure. Do not dispose of in fire.”
“Troubleshooting on page [number higher than the highest actual page number].”
“Nobody move! I think the universe just blinked!”
“Lovingly hand-made by child laborers.” (obviously that one’s not at all true but there’s a good chance that it will be true of something else in the immediate vicinity of anyone reading it.)
“FREE: Flesh Eating Bacteria INSIDE!”
“If dissatisfied, make different life decisions.”
“100% of the proceeds from your purchase will go to human beings.”
“CONTENTS: One (1) Book”
These are all wonderful. I loughed aloud for nearly every one!
yeah, ac is the squiggly thing in between the two lines the same length, right? i did a unit on this not long ago in school, so you can give the geek points to my teachers.
Unless you have one of them with you now, they’re all yours.
‘“Lovingly hand-made by child laborers.” (obviously that one’s not at all true but there’s a good chance that it will be true of something else in the immediate vicinity of anyone reading it.)’
How about I put an arrow next to it pointing to someone elses book?
“If dissatisfied, make different life decisions.”
That should be standard on everything. Seriously, patent it and lobby for it.
Had a hunt through the comics for good lines, found 25
I like to put words into Harvey Pekar’s mouth
It’s served in tiny cups for a reason
There’s no need to go postal
All creation is destruction
I hid a bear trap in your coffee
I installed a warp pipe in my house
An efficient mass transit system to carry souls into heaven
What is it with cats and cardboard boxes?
Remove the skin and things get really ugly
Wear dermal pyjamas
Thin lines of black and white very close together
Windchimes attract zombies
Please stack evenly
Beauty is in the beholder of the eye
Count your friends in zeroes and ones
We’re following the Prime Directive
Sometimes I dream that I’m dyslexic
Surprisingly, it contains no chicken
Most people have an above-average number of limbs
Just wait until Microsoft Word gains sentience
Do everything on porpoise
Save yourselves, flammable humans
Instant suicide kit – just add water
We are all going to die
Fill to taste with holy water
I agree with Matt. All the best lines come from the comics themselves.
However …
“Department of laughter and lye”
“Heavens no, don’t eat the green ones!”
“Matted matter”
“Buy Flow. Get High.”
“The art that ties its own shoelaces.”
“Waving in the breeze”
“Pull over, Rover.”
“The Idiot’s Guide to Dignity”
“Heavens no, don’t eat the green ones!”
i was very strongly reminded of ‘Soylent green is people!!’
Man, the first time I saw that movie it gave me the hibby-gibbies. Great film; however, it’s sort of a shame that you can’t show it to someone with out them already knowing the ending.
“Sometimes I dream that I’m dyslexic” really ought to be written in mirror-script, don’t you think?
Nice work, even I had a hard time remembering where all of those cam from. Thanks.
How’s about:
“Warning: This book is and always will be cooler than you”
Or how about a nice chavvy:
“Your face is a flowfield unity!!”
or…
“For the last time, this is not the nerd club!”
or even
“TFFU, like FCUK….with papercuts”
Ok, I’m out of ideas…
At Roo’s request, I am also suggesting “yupsicles”.
Which causes me to suggest some other words…like this one..
“Mysweirioddemptingague!” (cross between mysterious, weird, odd, tempting and vague. originally used to describe a friend of mine but I know realise it suits TFFU down to a T)
and also: “Adolessence, makes you feel like a teen” and “Adolescent, smells like teen spirit”
“May be used as an anti-narcoleptic.”
wow, all of there are very clever.
oops
I got nothing.
Umm…
“It stays crunchy, even in milk!”
“Not to be taken at face value (alone).”
“It stays crunchy, even in milk!”
I have tested that out (by accident, whilst making a copy)… turns out it’s just not the case. If anything, ‘turns pulpy, especially in milk’ would be more accurate…
…and for that reason alone I’ll be using your “It stays crunchy, even in milk!” tag.
thanks.
LIES! DECEPTION! SUBTERFUGE! SOGGY BOOKS!
This gives me further ideas – steal other product’s tag lines
Melts in your mouth, not in your pocket
The best a man can get
etc.
Instant classics! Just watch out for trademarks…
A Finger Of The Flowfield Unity Is Just Enough To Give Your Kids A Treat.
/b
25% More Free
“Not made with child labour”
“Includes Assembly instructions”
“Not for use with Class A Fire Extinguishers”
“Do Not Read Unless Vacum Seal Is Unbroked”
Not made with child labour…
You’ve insinuated that too much now, so much that I’m going to have to underline the ‘Not’
“Provides 100% protection from demons, vampires, and alien abduction!”
“Provides 100% protection from demons, vampires and alien abduction! *”
*”(Birth control abilities may be or may not be a rumour. Remaining un-pregnant is not gauraunteed)”
One more to add to the list. I’ve been sent over by Maddie, who is diligently
talking to people on the internetwriting an essay, and cannot come to post it herself.“Warning: Do not overcook, as goop often offends”
Based on what happens if you (like me) have trouble cooking couscous effectively.
“Don’t stroke his face, he’s depressed!”
I just remembered I have a quote of the day book that has some pretty awesome one liners in, the above being of them.
Best ever one though?
“Boobs are the opposite of genocide!”
And Roo, ta for commenting the goop one for me. Essay is done now.