The opposite of Turcken
They are changing the sandwiches at work. Apparently, the old sandwiches were too labour intensive.
I’m pretty sure the Earl of Sandwich would disagree. It is rumoured that he liked them because they were convenient when playing cards and they didn’t get the cards all greasy… I like them for precisely the same reason when I’m at work.
And so it is important for them to be made right, they’re a specialist lunch with a function beyond filling a stomach. Our old sandwiches (for all their faults including the obscene use of onion in a tuna and mayonnaise sandwich) were hand-made and subsidised. You could get a good, filling, cheap meal that adhered to the non-greasy nature of the ideal sandwich.
The new ones will be different. they may or may not be hand-made, but even if they are they will be to a lower quality. I mean, the people who make these sandwiches are not going to be stood in front of you when you pay… that’s motivation for getting it right… no, they’ll stack them crooked and the filling will spill everywhere, just like at every other place I’ve worked.
That stops it from being a sandwich and turns it into be a salad garnished with bread.
That’s why I’ll be taking in a packed lunch next week when I return, just in case – I wouldn’t want my cards to get all greasy. The trouble is, I’m used to picking from a selection presented to me, institutionalised, so to speak, and I have no idea where to start.
I’m torn between trying to perfect something simple – the ideal ham and cheese perhaps – or something rather grand and custom – I like chillies and peanut butter, there must be a safe way to combine them.
So, name your top sandwich. Points will be awarded for creativity and sheer determination. I may try some of them, but be warned, bad tasting sandwiches give me outbreaks of rage.
I like toasted lettuce an tomato, possibly with a slice of mozzarella. (fake/tofu cheese. I’m vegan) Of course, I’m a man of simple tastes.
It’s a classic. I tend to get a bit picky about the simple ones… It’s all about ratios, right?
I think I’m going to go with the mozzarella
Everything. I call them “manwhiches”. Stacks of Ham, Turkey, Honey Glazed Ham, Corned Beef. Lettuce Tomato’s, Onion’s, Pickles (the bread and butter kind). Mustard, Mayo/Miriclewhip, Pepper; all on a nice toasted Jewish rye. Chips if you have room on the plate.
That sounds tasty, but it could get a bit messy, plus the prep time would mean getting up a whole hour earlier… and the way things are going that would technically mean waking up before I went to bed.
As far as I know, we don’t really have Miracle whip… but I’m aware of it because of so many refernces in pop culture…
Actually a quick check I found this:
“Miracle Whip was sold briefly in the United Kingdom from around January 2006 to April 2007, this supply was imported by national supermarket chain Tesco from Kraft Foods Germany; it was not marketed by Kraft Foods UK at the time.”
I guess we’re full-fat all the way in the UK.
That’s fine cause the stuff is nasty if you’re a mayo kinda guy…
I’m a mustard kind of guy. Mayo and miracle whip are both icky to me. I suppose I’d rather butter? Eggs and me aren’t friends, for some reason.
peanut butter and pickles is good, as well as turkey with cranberry sauce.
i like the idea of sandwich-induced rage.
nice buttons on the side there.
Thanks…
That sounds more like a lesson in alchemy than a sandwich. Peanutbutter and pickles? I’m intrigued, I think I’ll give it a go.
i like peanut butter and apricot jam (or a simmilarly fruity non-berry jam) with bannanas.
also to be respected is fried egg, cheese (cheddar, really old cheddar), and bacon on toasted light rye
when in doubt: take randomly chosen bread-like substance, add every kind of protein you can handle, use lotta vegetables (lettuce, etc.) and add a good mustard, find a good dijon or honey mustard, or even a spicy mustard.
“also to be respected is fried egg, cheese (cheddar, really old cheddar), and bacon on toasted light rye”
Indeed, respect is given… We have a local cheddar here that’s so mature that it doesn’t even laugh when someone walks into a lamp post.
I’m very odd about food. I like a peanut butter and apple slices sandwich. The combination of sticky gooey peanut butter and crisp sweet cold apple slices makes for a tasty treat. I also like to mash up bananas into a paste and make a sandwich with it and peanut butter. I always use creamy peanut butter, of course, and I prefer Jif because others are too salty and grainy.
I was recently introduced to Marmite*, cheese and apple as a combination. Top stuff, I’d never really considered apple as a sandwich filler, but I can see the point now – it keeps a bit of crispy moisture in there without letting the bread get soaked.
*Similar to veggiemite etc.
marmite with thick cut plain potato chips is definately a must.
and even better, throw some brie in there. mmm
I’ll have a vegelate sandwich please.
Sliced turkey + tzatziki + tomatoes = Amazing sammich my friend Annalisa invented the other day.
I don’t have sandwiches often, anymore. I like salads. And I don’t mean healthy salads. I mean salads full of protein and calories. Turkey, bacon, cheese, avocado…
O yes. Put avocado on everything. It’s amazing.
Whole grain bread, cream cheese, avocado,
tomatoes and either sprouts or lettuce.
It’s awesome goodness with a dill pickle.
What about meat?
why spoil a perfect sandwich with meat?
do you have *any* idea what weird
bacteria meat leaves in your colon?
Exactly! The best sandwiches are meat free.
I found a place here in Philadelphia that makes a killer vegetarian Philly Cheese Steak, with broccoli rabe. Oh, it’s so good!
H’m, well you can go off and be rabbits, then. Humans are omnivores, and there’s no vegan dogma that will convince me otherwise.
You know, I could say the same thing about sprouts. Sprouts are not allowed to be used in any Disneyland restaurant, because they are impossible to clean. I do not fancy eating bug poops, myself.
So, we’re even.
you do know that elvis had 60 pounds
of impacted fecal matter in his colon when
he died, as a direct result of eating meat?
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/gruesome/fecalcolon.asp
Did you know that mushrooms grow in fecal matter? Actually, all plants do.
Some of my best friends are plants; so you see, honey-lamb, I’m not a carnivore because I’m woefully ignorant, the way you think I am. I’m a carnivore because I cannot stand the thought of cruelly ripping my friends out of the ground and eating them, nor can I stand the thought of breeding them sterile for my own enjoyment, or killing them as babies just to follow a trend, or genetically modifying them so that certain parts are unnaturally engorged.
To my friends, vegans are the cruel ones.
Like sprouts don’t? : D
I love peanut butter,
especially on hot toast.
I’ll try an apple slice
and see if I like that too.
apples + peanut butter = a favourite
they have to be red apples though
none of this green apple crap
but not those mushy red apples. i like ‘em crisp.
chomp chomp
Actually sometimes green apples make for an interesting change because they’re so tart. But crispness is the most important attribute for the sandwich apple slice.
sandwich induced rage?
lol tia. you’re dripping…
that i am
i forgot to eat today
BLT with a fried egg on it. It’s healthy, it’s got vegetables.
Also, the title reminds me of turducken. It’s a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey. I will try one eventually.
I, for one, eat nothing that has “turd” in the name.
/b
Ha…
Still, triple-bird… why not go one further and have a tiny quail in there, sort of like Russian dolls.
Actually, the ‘turducken’ is a dish that was invented in the middle ages, and they didn’t limit themselves to birds. Also they ate sparrows. We could put a sparrow inside a quail inside a cornish game hen inside a duck inside a pheasant….
laffs at the turd joke.
Spicy Reuben:
Replace corned beef with capacola.
Replace kraut with kimchi.
Replace swiss cheese with swiss cheese.
Replace rye bread with rye bread.
I’m not one for condiments, so use the traditional thousand island at your own discretion.
I’m simple. Peanut butter and banana with, maybe, some cinnamon/sugar.
tuna mayonnaise and sliced pickled jalpenos…when you’re poor you have to think of inventive ways of making yr bog standard sandwich actually taste nice this is the sandwich for you…cost per sandwich is about 50p but tastes better than the fancy ones in marks & spencers that cost £300! cucumber optional and generally pointless…
pimp your sandwich by adding red pepper and olives….but only on days when you’re feeling flush
granary bread is king amongst breads…what’s all this rye bread nonsense about??
sandwich induced rage best exemplified by Ross in populist american sitcom ‘Friends’…all together now….’my sandwich?…. MY SANDWICH????’
p.s. i may know nothing about comics but i am a food geek.
Oooo, I love tuna! Ideally I have mine with just enough mayo to make it stick together, sweet pickle relish, and diced celery to give it some crispiness. Preferably on sourdough, lettuce and tomato optional.
I can’t have capsaisin, though. My body says ‘no. No. NO OMG NO OMG NO.’ to that sort of spicy.
Have you ever tried tzatziki? It’s amazing.
Yeah, I’m a big fan of tzatziki… I think living in Greece for a while will do that to you. Make it with twice the garlic your recipe calls for though… I’ve never seen a recipe that includes the kind of garlic quotient we had back on Crete.
Too much garlic throws off the taste-balance.
Oooo! Also! You know what’s just fabulously decadent and moan-inducing? Fresh (FRESH) sourdough with nutella and raspberry preserves. Oh. My. Gods. I have to eat that thing by myself otherwise people think I’m having sex…. (blush)
/hands Melanthios a tissue.
mmmmm…..brown (HP) sauce sandwiches *dribbles on keyboard*
Favourite sandwich? Hmmm, I really like fried egg, cheddar cheese (that old mature one, that doesn’t even giggle at lamppost-walking-into’s (which reminds me of a story: at my college orientation, the first night they had us out in the dorms, and a bunch of us decided to go down to the quad to play some frisbee. Now the quad was a big open field, with some paths cutting across it, and these paths had lampposts all along their lengths. SO this one poor kid was tearing after a wide pass, running full tilt for the frisbee, behind it, arm outstretched, running as fast as the frisbee was flying. Just as he gets his fingers on the rim of the frisbee… CRACK, he runs head first into a lamppost. We call him “Lamppost” to this day)) and wilted chard on sourdough, with a really good stoneground mustard.
I’m also partial to avocado, orange slices, and sour cream on toast. Yum yum yum.
Roo, that lamppost story is the
perfect filling for your sandwich.
Following the apples + peanut butter theme, this is one of my favourites too. There are a couple of additions that are a must though!
Peanut Butter, Cheddar Cheese, Branston Sandwich Pickle, Slices of Granny Smith Apples, enclosed in two slabs of buttered Granary Bread.
.. damn I’m hungry now.
ps. What on earth is sourdough??!
Sourdough bread is delicious. It’s different from other breads in that you use yeast from a ‘mother sponge’ instead of using new yeast every time. As well, lactobacilli is present, which gives sourdough its distinctive tang.
Traditionally, each bakery has a different ‘mother sponge’ and therefore, each bakery’s sourdough has a different taste. If fed flour and water, an M. S. can live indefinitely. As well, sourdough can also refer to bread made using ‘wild’ yeast, as opposed to store-bought or sterile yeast. However, the advent of the stricter food service laws means that most modern sourdough is no longer this way, though the method of keeping a mother sponge is still viable and very much necessary, with M. S. being jealousy guarded by famous bakeries.
Also, if you buy sourdough from the store, look closely at the label. If it’s got the same ingredients as your typical white bread, it’s probably fake.
Who would have thought the science of sandwiches was so varied… and we haven’t even touched on the close relatives, the bagel, the pitta and the wrap.
Sterling work there.
Ooo! A raisin bagel (not cinnamon, just raisin), toasted and buttered, with two slices of Dubliner cheese, is the perfect thing to accompany a cup of black tea and an episode of QI.
Lochs and capers.
As an avid meat eater, and lover of vegetables and fruits. I like to pile my sandwiches Scooby doo style.
There is no wrong when it comes to making ultimate sandwiches. I will pile fried egg and lettuce tomatto pickles peppers, what ever is in the fridge on to my sandwich. layers of sougherdough bread, wheat, white, potato… what ever i can find.
The only thing i find one needs to be careful of… make sure that when you’re finished the sandwich isn’t taller than you….