May 26th, 2008
Rock city
I’ve been ranting a bit lately, so I’ll lighten the mood with some… unconfirmed pigeon facts:
- Pigeons were first invented in 1568, when some doves were left outside for too long.
- The first animal to break mach 2 was a pigeon… strapped to a rocket.
- Despite often being called ‘rats of the sky’ pigeon lose their tail whilst still in the nest.
- Pigeon song can distract an attacking panther.
- The Rock Pigeon gets its name from its ability to impersonate Eddie Van Halen
- Pigeons can travel in at least 6 dimensions, but only when searching for leftovers.
- Pigeons are the bird equivalent of the undead.
That should help keep the Internet ‘pigeon fact’ free… feel free to join in.
If two pigeons get wet and touch eachother, their wings will short circuit and they’ll become one squirrel.
Best one yet.
If you make eye contact with a pigeon, it can steal your soul. FACT.
Pigeons can speak English, they just find human conversation very, very boring so don’t bother to join in. FACT.
I enjoy the texture in the solid spaces of your comic.
Actually, that’s a slight oversight… normally I use pigment liners for the lines, but I fill the space with a brush pen… which ran out when I started on this one. So what I had to do was block fill using a 0.3mm pigment liner = patterning.
Now I don’t like it anymore.
Jack says baby pigeons are a conspiracy, but in fact what we see *are* baby pigeons. Adult pigeons are larger than the albatross and have massive fangs.
Pidgeons are Chuck Norris’ only known fear.
FACT
pigeons act as one, directed by their queen.
rumors abound as to where the queen lives, but current wisdom points to a system of tunnels under the vatican.
Everyone knows that pigeons are a government conspiracy - The reason you never see baby pigeons is not because they nest high up in trees, but rather because they are grown, in testubes, in laboratories all round the world, for the specific purpose of clandestinely gathering information. FACT
Supposed “Pigeon Men” act as the conduit for the pigeon related findings of any one given area. FACT
This Pigeon based surveillance network has been instrumental in several events of significant historical importance; DDay and the fall of the Berlin Wall, to name a few. FACT
So next time you wander out into the street, be aware of how many eyes are in fact watching you…
I should re-mention that I once put a high speed wire brush thru a pidgeon corpse.
The results were un-pretty.
There is an album I enjoy - it’s sort of a concept album, really - by the Venetian Snares that’s all about pigeons, or rather the fear of them.
Pigeons are so fat because they feed on the souls of your unborn children. FACT.
They also feed on the souls of your born children. FACT.
Adult souls are intolerable to the delicate pigeon stomach. FACT.
My god! This explains the entire neo-con movement!
Just kidding.
Everyone knows neo-cons aren’t born. They believe in abstanance only, right? So, that means they were delivered by the stork!
These are all way better than any I managed to come up with… points all round, I say.
pigeons are the reason i havent been around much lately
fact!
pigeons have a plan. FACT.
the plan will work. FACT.
If you get a chance, watch a cartoon on Disney called Phineas and Ferb. Its wonderfully subversive (especially for a Disney produced show). In the show there’s an evil scientist named Doctor Duffenschmertz. His perfect brother, Larry, was getting a reward, so he used the POOPINATOR! to train pigeons to poop Larry just as he got his reward. He even did a little sing and dance number explaining his hatred. The pigeons danced.
· Pigeons pull off outrageous disco moves whenever they are not being observed.
· 1 pigeon out of every 1000 is magnetically attracted to hubcaps.
· A pigeon bouncing off glass has a coefficient of restitution of exactly 1.
· Pigeons do not bob their heads to minimise parallax in their vision, they do it because they think it looks funny.
· Wilbur Wrights mentor was a pigeon named Frank.
who are you and why’d you take the first 2/3ds of my name?
I’m your evil twin from another dimension. The harrowing journey from my reality to yours caused the letter a to fall off though.
pigeons walk pigeoned-toed, even though
they are considered sloth-like creatures.
sloths also walk pigeon-toed but cannot fly.
(sloths fell from the evolutionary tree and
grew fur). though related, pidgeons live
in seedier neighborhoods than sloths.
Every pigeon is the reincarnated spirit of a politician. FACT.
Pigeons do not eat bread crumbs. They collect them and are building a huge raft with which they hope to clean up the Trash Island on the Pacific Gyre. They will probably drop the plastic on major human cities. FACT.
Pigeons have a personal vendetta against my older sister. FACT
Also, pigeons are actually little goverment robots with cameras to spy on us. Ever wondered why pigeons hide from the rain?
(FACT)
For real though, volume 20 of the scientific journal titled conservation biology states that pigeons are non-native to America and were brought here from England.
Now look what happened. They have mated with humming birds who have mated with mosquitoes and are now super small, fast, and boring into our skin killing us with a new strain of virus that’s a mix of West Nile and the bird flu.
I’d heard that too…
Nile ‘flu, deadly.