Stuck
I’m trying to work out how long it would take me to escape my country, legally.
It’s not quick, but it is quicker than I thought…
First, I don’t have a current passport, so that would mean a trip down to Liverpool, and since I don’t drive a car, the quickest way of getting there would be by train. That takes about an hour and a half, and getting the passport itself takes about four hours for a renewal.
That gives a running total of five and a half hours… plus say another hour to account for getting to the train station and walking to the passport office, plus another thirty minutes of inevitable delays on public transport.
The new amended total is therefore seven hours.
Liverpool fortunately has an airport, (possibly the easiest way to leave your country), the excellently named, John Lennon Airport.
They advise you turn up at least two hours before the flight to check in. Assuming that I get there and book a flight in half and hour (I’m not fussy, I just want to leave – I just have to make sure I don’t choose anywhere like the Falkland Islands), I could be in the air within 3 hours.
Plus, say an hour to get to the airport in the first place, and then the mandatory security checks that seem to happen to me quite a lot, they last about thirty minutes… giving a grand total of eleven and a half hours.
…and depending in which direction I head in it could be anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour before leaving British airspace. Let’s call that half an hour too… Twelve Hours.
So, that’s the time to beat. I expect strong challenges from everyone already in the possession of valid paperwork and passports, that’s the advantage you get for being prepared.
And spare a thought for anyone who, no matter what, is unable to leave their country.
I have no passport and I have no money. Then again I could hop in a boat and be in international waters in no time flat. I don’t know how legal that is but even if you add time for getting a passport I bet it’s pretty good. If I want to get to an actual country there’s some islands I could fly to in no time flat. Hell, people SWIM here from Cuba. Many of them die, but that’s besides the point.
i can’t help but wonder what led you to think about fleeing the country
You know when you move into a new house and they recommend that you work out your fire escape routes… it’s a bit like that.
Does going to New Zealand count?
I could be there fairly quickly. I reckon less then 6 hours.
But then I would be in New Zealand.
What about all the ppl who live in countries that share borders?
They can just walk over.
Nah, we don’t recognise New Zealand as a valid destination.
As for the shared border thing, if you can legally walk over then it counts… legality defined as ‘if the dogs aren’t set loose and you arrive at the otherside without gunshot in your person’.
So, as far as leaving the country, I could do it in maybe 10 hours (not necessarily legally.)
But, that second panel I read as “‘Uke’ space and time.” Which is the cool kind of time, the kind where you’re strumming your Ukulele on a beach, say Hawaii, drinking a daiquiri.
you have a significantly different definition of the term ‘uke’ than I’ve ever heard.
what other definitions are there?
well for one it’s the person you beat up in martial arts. and there’s the crazy yaoi fangirl definition.
hah, yah, only every heard it used as a nick for “ukulele.” Cool. Have to look up those others.
Uke time… it has a ‘miller time’ feel about it, but more bluegrass.
Adam’s definitely got it… like those Corona ads we’ve got here in the states.
I live about an hour from the Atlantic. Assuming I use all my savings to rent a boat I could probably be out of the country and on international waters within three hours at the most.
Of course, I wouldn’t really know where to go.
*Pictures J Gray adrift in the Atlantic trying to figure out what to do next*
Especially since I haven’t sailed a boat since I was in my teens. Oi.
In the Netherlands, it is hard to *not* leave the country if you go more than 200km in any direction
I assumed a lot of European countries might have several escape routes. If there was one thing I took for my WW2 history lessons, it’s that Europe become pourous under times of stress.
Still, what is the legality of doing that? Presumably a European passport should let you wander as you like…
I’m a believer in always having a valid passport.
You *never* know when you might have to
escape the country. Any country. Anytime.
It’s like having a kind of insurance policy.
Problem with a valid passport is if they don’t *want* you to leave, then they know you’re trying to.
My passport’s up-to-date. I don’t own a car, but I could probably rent one in maybe half an hour, so long as I wasn’t picky. Then if traffic was really heavy it would take another half-hour to get out of the city. Then it’s due south to the US border, about 250 km on highway 2, which is 100 or 110 km/h all the way. Google maps says to expect 2 hours and 49 minutes. Round it up to 3 so I can stop for a sandwich and a pee. Then maybe 4 hours at the border crossing, thanks to the increasingly intense security. 8 hours total.
By air, the US would still be the closest destination. Billings, Montana and Seattle, Washington are about equidistant, and Seattle is the more interesting of the two. That one’s in the air for 1.5 hours. Add half an hour to cab to the airport, and two hours to check in and clear security, and I’d be on foreign soil in four hours. Who knows how long they’d hold me in customs, but -technically- I’d be out of Canada.
’sandwich and a pee’ – Ahh, good point, two things that should be included in any plan.
The S&P constant is a unit of time added on to any plan or endeavour. Failiure to account for the constant will result in one of the following outcomes…
1. Project runs over exactly the time of the S&P constant.
2. Project is completed on time, but with rumbling bellies.
3. Project is completed on time, but with wet legs.
4. Project is completed on time, but with rumbling bellies and wet legs.
Let’s say it takes me half an hour to hire a taxi, apparently 36 minutes from there to get to the nearest airport and then use your time of 3 hours to get into the air.
And then to leave British Aerospace we’ll go with your time of half an hour.
That makes the current total 4 hours and 36 minutes.
Am I winning?
I don’t need to take the sandwich and a pee into account. I can wait that long for a sandwich and I can pee on the plane.
Although, of course, if I could get a train to the coast and borrow a boat (I’m sure my family knows someone with a boat), I could be out of British waters in maybe 4 hours, assuming it’s a quick boat.
Wait a sec, what if instead of leaving the country I simply declare myself a sovereign nation? Now obviously I wouldn’t be recognized as my own country right away, but probably when I did end up on the maps it would count retroactively to when I declared independence.
I think that’s what British comedian, Danny Wallace was trying to do…
http://www.join-me.co.uk/
I think to a larger extent he pulled it off too.
Has any one bothered to pack a towel?
The towel is an essential piece of hitchhiking equipment, it’s true. After all, a hoopy frood always knows where his towel is.
Ohh, man, I can’t imagine trying to get out of the country hitchhiking. Since the only road-accessible country from where I am is the USA, I can only begin to wonder at the horrors that would be inflicted upon someone trying to cross either a) in a stranger’s vehicle, or b) on foot.
Before reading the text about leaving the country, did anyone else pick up a BDSM feeling from this comic? No, just me…? Well, my mind is always in the gutter.
I think it’s a twenty minute ride to the airport, and then if you ride standby for an international flight… prolly three hours to get on the plane and get it up. So that’s not bad. And my passport’s up to date too!
*the internet collectively shakes its head, confirming it is indeed just you*
I get the feeling it’s kind of like a subversive PSA from Amnesty International.