Grandad’s new dress
Have you ever noticed that unisex clothing is all the rage in utopian visions of the future?
Like the uniforms in Next Generation Star Trek it tends to be of the romper suit variety.
Yet right now, unisex is very much out of fashion. Unisex anything – clothes, haircuts, toilets.
I wonder what happens in the not-to-distant future to make us change our mind?
… I’ve only ever once worn women’s clothing and it was not a happy experience. Let me explain…
I was being picked up for work and had slept in. I was woken by the sound of my lift beeping his car horn outside. I jumped out of bed, threw on some clothes from the pile on the floor, made a brief trip to the bathroom whilst still fastening buttons and the like, and then ran outside.
I really didn’t have time to think.
It was only when I got out of the car again that I realised I had put on Em’s jeans by mistake.
The first thing that struck me was the lack of blood to my legs. I don’t know how, considering the difference in our waist measurements, but I had managed to do all of the buttons up… and the waist was so tight that I was unable to undo them. You know what it’s like trying to undo buttons when you’re starting to panic?
At last the top one went and I felt the weird throbbing in my feet stop. I undid a further few buttons just for safety. I was relieved.
The second thing that struck me was the fact that the sole purpose of these jeans was to highlight the differences of the male and female anatomy, not just the wearer (by being rather tight) but also to the casual observer (by being rather tight).
I dealt with this by walking in a manner fit for a Monty Python sketch – pretty much propelling myself along, bending only at the ankles… it was a sort of foot-scurry.
I lasted until lunch time before begging for a lift home to change and received a round of applause when I returned.
I think what I’m saying is that I have had my taste of figure-hugging clothing, if only the bottom half of my person… I can’t imagine what it would be like to have my torso restricted in a similar fashion… I couldn’t survive in a romper suit and that is why I must prevent the human race from achieving utopia.
The costumes from the first season of Star Trek: the Next Generation were actually made of spandex. I can’t imagine who thought THAT was a good idea (it was the 80’s I guess), but it became clear almost immediately that the damn things weren’t going to work and they were updated for the second season and again for the third season, finally settling on a looser fitting top separated from the pants rather than an actual jumpsuit.
Tranma = Trauma.
Isn’t it just.
I actually think the term ‘tranma’ is used for when your grandparents start looking rather similar…
They must have cured obesity by the 23rd century. On Star Trek I never saw anyone in one of those suits who wasn’t thin enough to make it look good.
Another observation, though: In the Original Series, unisex clothing was *not* all the rage. Whatever change happened, it happened within the few years between Kirk and Picard.
Maybe Starfleet discovered that females in obviously female clothing turn starship captains into sex maniacs.
In the pilot episode there was an alternate skirted version of the uniform that only Counselor Troi wears for the most part, but in the last shot they have Tasha Yar in it (looking RIDICULOUS) and if you watch the background characters you can see no less than six male extras wearing it.
As for the lack of fat people in the future, Starfleet was more or less a military and you don’t tend to see overweight soldiers who work in the field. So, I have to assume they have strict exercise programs - and a special future wand that zaps fat into nothing.
The skirt version of the uniform was stupid but the one piece jumpsuit she spent wearing for the next six years wasn’t all that great, either. When they finally started putting her into a regular uniform I was happy for her. She looked like a professional and the blue complimented her coloring.
On a more serious note, I’ve noticed that unisex always seems to mean “women dress more like men” even though trends have actually moved subtly the other way. More and more, men’s fashions resemble women’s in terms of number of choices, attention paid to how they attract the opposite gender, etc..
By the way, did you tell Em how much you appreciate her wearing the jeans the next time she wore them?
Em wasn’t impressed… and rightly so, I treat clothes terribly.
O’Brien was a tad rotund. The early spandex version of the uniform did not at all complement his figure. Also the Original Series cast (particularly Doohan) all got way out of shape by the last few movies, but the uniforms in the movies were less revealing.
Logan’s Run also did the jumpsuit thing, but they were pretty sexualized. Also, when off-duty, I seem to recall everyone wearing casually-wrapped bedsheets.
Also, the ST:TNG uniforms weren’t as asexual as all that; they still did a good job of highlighting the form and figure of the wearer through use of colour and straight lines. Also the cut of the women’s jumpsuits tended towards “hourglass” whereas the men’s tended towards “triangle” (broad shoulders, thin hips).
Ahh, bedsheets… the antithesis of the rompersuit.
Reminds me, I haven’t seen that film in ages…
Wow, um. H’m.
As a trans fellow, I have to say that I am not impressed with the lack of enthusiasm for unisex bathrooms (though Colorado has gotten with the program. GO COLORADO). Of course, I do have to agree that modern female clothing is far less comfy than male. I am also pleased to finally be able to walk into a shoe store and have shoes that fit. To even have rather small feet. I’ve never had ‘rather small’ feet, or been considered short. It’s wonderful.
Of course, men dress atrociously for the most part. But that doesn’t mean I have to hide in my jeans or show my underwear. My friends often laugh at my little mantra of, ‘Straight men. Honestly.’ X3 Granted, it is more what the fashion industry has become, but it is fun to say that.
Also…er…it is an old irritation of mine, that when you say ‘trans’ at someone, they automatically think of a drag queen. Drag queens don’t usually want to be female–they’re happy being male. So…gah. Frustrating for those of us that actually know we should be a different sex altogether. And don’t get me started on how frustrating it is for us boys that were born with two X chromosomes, let alone said boys who are in fact gay and fruity, as well.
Grrrr, current popular fashion for young ppl here in Aus shits me atm.
Really s***s me.
It is either a copy of the 80’s or just crap.
The colours and cuts are obscene.
And if you go to the more mature adult fashion (25+), it all seems to be imitating Underbelly fashions. Underbelly is a crime/mob drama series on tv.
I’m mostly just a jeans and long sleeve shirt guy, but I would like to see some variety in the fashion that our society wears.
Generally I am in jeans and a black t-shirt, but I have some long-sleeved ones, and I like cold weather for the layering one can do. However, I do tend to walk places, necessitating such drab outfits. When I don’t have to walk, I can reveal more of my true nature as a fop, wearing button-up shirts with ruffled cuffs, and waistcoats with cravats. And my ubiquitous Coat, of course.
I love cold weather. It lets me dress properly.
Modern fashion is definitely a motivator for my determination to become a tailor.
good luck in becoming a tailor, the thought of being daring enough to wear a waistcoat made my day.
i don’t think I’ll ever be that bold >.<
It’s bold to dress formally, now? o_O
i was thinking along the lines of Victorian-era costume
Considering that Victorian-era costume simply looks very formal to a modern eye, I’m still confused as to why you consider me brave for wearing it. O_o
in retrospect, i have only vague ideas about what i was thinking at the time. but I’m pretty sure i was daydreaming about stuff I’d do if i had the nerve and sufficient supplies.
Waistcoats are fantastic, it doesn’t matter what geneder you are.
I too wear a rather nice one, when I’m suited and booted.
Not that I dress trans, but I used to wear my dancing pants (raver style) and my hair done up braided and sometimes even face paint.
I got some strange looks, even hostility at times.
I got my own back. I would wear all black clothes, die my hair black and walk in the centre of my group of mates who dressed normally.
That scared old ppl.
Difference freaks most ppl out, regardless of how normal it really is.
Xenophobia is unfortuently a part of humanity.
A few of my good friends are ‘trans’… transvestites. I think over here, with such media types as Eddie Izzard and the traditional British fetish for dressing up, it isn’t a big thing. It’s seen more of a fashion choice than a gender one… but I can see how the use of the word ‘trans’ could be confusing and misappropriated via the trans-gendered conotations.
I have heard it used as an insult before now, but usually from people that think that brushing your hair or having a wash makes you gay.
One particular friend cross-dresses not out of any sense of fashion, but out of necessity. He’s got a very small frame and other than resort to children’s clothes, the only other real option is to adopt wearing women’s ones. He looks ace in them too.
I don’t know why some people feel threatened by people wearing clothes ordained for the opposite gender. It’s just cloth…
ACtually all the new styles I see, it’s pretty unisex. I am getting so mad, at seeing a picture and saying, “oh what a pretty girl.” and then they say well, yeah, but it’s a guy. I’m not even sure transvestites are real any more. It’s just something someone calls another person to make them feel insulted.
It’s easy for a cisgendered person to say everything is unisex. Look at what people wear on the street, everyday, and you will see that unisex isn’t so. The fashion world is far removed from the real one.
And re ‘transvestite = insult’…whoa, what colour is the sky in your world? o_O;;
lol, in alot of western culture, calling someone gay or questioning their sexuality is an insult.
Maybe not in your social circle, but definitely in the society that I live in.
I’m agreeing with this sentiment, just saying how it is in the world.
Er, transvestite has never been used. Gay, yes; dyke, yes. Transvestite? Can’t think of a single incident or situation where a plebeian would yell that at anyone.
I’ve witnessed enough incidents.
gtg
flat battery
It’s official. Normal people baffle me.
I’m looking forward to a day when it gets far enough removed that i can wear pretty much anything and not get too many second looks. or maybe it needs to become firmly grounded in reality so i can do that.
here’s to tophats
As long as they have flip flops or bare feet I don’t care.
I wear whatever I like–funny looks be damned. If they want to stare, let them. That’s the point of looking fabulous. n_n
“here’s to tophats”
Oh, indeed. You don’t see them around too much these days. They should be like a protected species, reared in captivity and released into the wild.
Tophat farms, you could do far worse.
look what youve done, you people have just made me want to go shopping.
@Melanthios: You’ve got it! Wear what you like, and how you like it. Whatever anyone thinks - so be it. Truth be told most people respect that attitude more anyways.