Beware kitchenware
I don’t know just how much coverage our current epidemic is getting worldwide, but here in the UK we’re experiencing what can only be called ‘Stabfest’.
I still haven’t been able to find any figures that suggest we have a higher rate of knife crime than any other comparable nation, but that’s beside the point… why try to put things in perspective when you can have endless footage of flowers by the roadside, parents demanding new and tougher laws and celebrities bandwagoneering to kickstart their failing careers?
Won’t somebody please think of the children – I swear it’s only a matter of time before we hear those words on TV, and I’m not talking about The Simpsons.
The media may think it is helping, but all I can hear is ‘better carry a knife, everyone else is’… just like when they try to stop people panic buying and yet all we hear is the word ‘panic’.
It makes you wonder, what happened to the good old days when you would have to spend a significant amount of time and energy pummeling someone to death with your bare hands?
So, for all it counts here is my reasoning as to why our children are being perforated so frequently… it’s not because of gang culture, or the disintegration of the family unit… it’s not because of the easy accessibility of the weapons and it is not because they have anything worth stealing… it’s because we live in a culture where violence is seen to be the only way forward.
Sportsmen, musicians, actors and artists are no longer the role models for society… it’s the people in power, it’s the people with power that are leading the way. And what are they doing?
Justifying aggression to ease guilt… liberating… policing with force
We have to remember, children learn through copying and if we go around threatening violence to get our way then what else can they do but follow us in any way they can.
So, yeah, please put that knife down, or I’ll stamp repeatedly on your face… that’ll work.
justine on 
It’s worth pointing out, though, that the number of shootings in the UK has dropped by roughly the same amount the number of stabbings has increased. If anything, we’re going the right way.
/b
that was the train of logic I was following with the comic… If you ban knives it’s just going to be another instrument of pain…
You’ll remember the hysteria over guns last year then… what happened to that? Was the problem solved? If so how, and if not why is it not in the news any more?
I think we solved it by giving everyone knives.
Next year: state-subsidised baseball bats!
/b
if the rate of fatality’s the same, i think I’d rather be shot
That’s a rather grim decision.
What are the factors in this decision? I mean, why the bullet over the blade?
Morbid curiosity.
much the same logic as brandy, i assume it would be a lot faster.
maybe it’s that horror anime i’ve been watching, they really draw it out
I’d rather be shot than stabbed (if it was going to be a fatal injury). Assuming you’re being shot by someone who knows how to use their weapon, it could all be over with pretty fast. A knife takes more time and effort for the attacker. And I don’t like to have anyone hover around me in general. Having someone hover with a sharp object is just going to compound my annoyance.
As an American, an epidemic of stabbings seems almost quaint to me. A fairly prominent liberal American blogger took three bullets in an attempted mugging in DC last week (he’s recovering). That’s how hardcore we are. We’re shooting down bloggers.
Guns, bitches and bloggers!
America always has to out-do us.
if it’s any consolation, your comedy is a lot better than ours
good grief, *looks around furtively* no one told me they were after us….
I’m about to move to that same area. I chided a friend already living there for not informing me I was relocating during open season on writers.
I don’t know anyone who carries a knife. Fair enough, I don’t live in a city and I don’t tend to associate with the kind of people who would HOWEVER I do know a fair number of people, even if I don’t associate with them and none of them carry a knife.
I think it’s mostly a city problem and not one that should be dumped on all people my age. I hear on the TV and radio all the time about how all kids are trouble makers, in gangs and carry knives. We also all do drugs and have underage sex, apparently (although admittedly, those last two aren’t exactly uncommon, even here).
…I can only wish my life was that exciting!
You should get yourself a knife… it’s what all the cool kids are doing… you could start a trend.
…Please don’t.
It is just another step in the demonisation of youth in this country… if you look at the ages of the people that have been arrested, you’ll see a fair few of them are actually in their 20s… hardly children, yet this seems to be ommitted from the debate…
I know a ton of ppl that carry knives, tho admittedly they have legit uses for them.
I’m sorta surprised that if you live in a rural area you are exposed to more knives. They are a fairly useful tool to have around, as highlighted in a simpsons episode.
Indeed…
It’s a bit about education, and a bit about purpose. Knives in rural areas are tools. People who carry knives in urban areas are tools.
I remember seeing several of the local fishermen with flick-knives 9you try opening a pen-knife with wet, cold hands), although under new legislation these too will be made illegal.
I used to carry a knife, or three.
Not just cos I was cool, but cos every else did.
When I grew up a bit more, I carried a baseball bat.
The irony of it all is that the only knife crime I’ve been involved in was when a mate hopped on gear pulled one at the entrance to a major city shopping centre and started trying to cut me up.
After this I decided that only w****rs carried weapons for no real reason.
“After this I decided that only w****rs carried weapons for no real reason.”
Walkers?
Writers?
Damned asterix ambuiguity.
F*****g c********p.
A rather inarticulate thought, but appropriate I think.
take away their teeth,
and they won’t need their knives.
teach someone to spoon
and you’ll sleep better at night.
[...] Flowfield Unity: Sunday, Monday, [...]
I was actually thinking today whilst on my way to teach a class on Research Reports, swinging my nifty silver flask from Woollies about: “S**t, I could probably brain someone with this f*****g thing.”
It wasn’t a malicious thought. It wasn’t followed by a cackle or anything.
It was just a thought.
I frequently cackle. I don’t actually remember what my natural laugh sounds like because I’ve spent so much time cultivating an arsenal of laughing noises to fit every occasion. It all started back in school when I spent hours developing the perfect sinister evil genius laugh, which starts as restrained chuckles and builds gradually into a bellowing crescendo of malevolent guffaws.
Look at me, talking about myself again! I’M SO INTERESTING.
Foly Huck, we are being censored!:D
If your reports sound anything like your writing style here, my company should hire you to do our morning pre-start and weekly tour start reports.
Aslong as you can do appropiate hand gestures whilst reading out the reports you would be a hit.