OK then:
The worst thing to hear when slipping under the anesthetic
Tags: brain, rockets, Science
This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 8th, 2008 at 7:49 pm and is filed under comics.
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justine on
Rocket surgery, now there’s a career!
By the internet powers vested in me, I announce you, Joe Bivins, a doctor of rocket surgery.
The certificate is in the post.
WOO. I’m going to start referring to myself as Reverend Dr. The Great Joe Bivins, Licensed Rocket Surgeon.
But do I perform surgery ON rockets or do I perform surgery WITH rockets?
“I’ll have that tumor off in two shakes, just hold still so I don’t burn your face off.”
Hey you’re the rocket surgeon, it’s up to you.
On rockets, with rockets, for rockets!
I forgot “by rockets.”
Ah, more spoonerisms! (Well, sort of. That still counts, right?)
Reminds me of the T-shirt so popular where I went to college: “I’m not as think as you drunk I am.”
I’m not sure… It looks like a spoonerism, but technically since integral letters remain intact it isn’t.
*disappears to research*
Nope, it isn’t… though what it is I cannot say.
“Wait, that’s not diazepam, it’s hemlock!”
Ha.
Although as an upside, I’ve heard that hemlock isn’t as addictive.
Alternatively it’s the last thing you’ll ever use, so maybe it’s really addictive. : )
It would have to be the sound of your surgeon spewing up.
The late author Lewis Grizzard told of the time he was going into heart surgery, already heavily sedated, and a nurse asked if he was allergic to anything. Even in his impaired state, he recognized this as one hell of a time to be asking and briefly thought about telling her he was allergic to the sedatives.
I wish I could have such presence of mind to think when under sedation. I’m normally too concerned about dribbling.
Heh. With rockets = war.
On rockets = you’re a technician.
The thing I don’t want to hear
when going under anesthesia
is “Is she an organ donor?”
(and, yes, I am…)
Yeah, the only way that could possibly be good news if it was followed by the line, ‘because I think all organ donors should be treated extra well’… which they should. Thank you.
One male surgeon to another on the team, just as the female patient is slipping under:
“Isn’t she a pretty little thing?”
There is no way that that could be good news… Doesn’t have to be female either, I’m pretty sure hearing a surgeon say that about me would give me nightmares.
I actually heard it. But there was another female in the room and I think it was more of a Southern way to comment on the fact that I was about sixty years younger than most of the patients getting that particular surgery. Still not comforting.
I’m sorry, I didn’t realise that it was of the ‘actually happened to me’ variety… I think that qualifies as a therapy-requiring life experience.
No, no. I’m quite all right. It was more of a “wtf? Do you not realize how that sounds?” moment than actually fear-inducing.
Mine (spewing up) was also a real event.
Tho I was to busy trying to keep a stomach full of blood down and a mouth full of congealed blood up to worry too much.
Errr…. so you were in the hospital for a wound to the gut, and you looked so bad at the time that the doctor vomited?
I’m impressed.
Anyone else notice how all of Ben’s good stories come back to some grievous injury he’s suffered at one point or another?
It was hardly a grevious injury, just a jaw partially broken in two places and some ruptured arteries.
It is true what that dude in Fight Club says about swallowing blood.
Also, I think you only find my grevious injury stories good because they involve grevious injuries.
I’m not sure you have ever once enjoyed one of my happy stories about puppies and kittens and flowers and sunshine and happiness and joy and stuff.
I’m not entirely saw I have ever told one, but that is a moot point.
“It was hardly a grevious injury, just a jaw partially broken in two places and some ruptured arteries.”
Hardly?…. what counts as grevious?
*Ben once again proves that Australians are a hardier breed than the British*
Well, I got the injuries while getting my wisdom teeth out in the chair.
Not so wise in retrospect.
So it wasn’t traumatic enough to warrant being called grevious.
I am not sure, with all my injuries, that I have had any that could be called grevious.
I have had some harsh ones, but grevious is another step up entirely.
Grevious would be the guy who had a 6′ drill steel puncture his upper torso and exit just above the left knee cap.
Or is that horrendous?
Man. Wow.
Horrendous, I think.
You were having just some guy try to take your wisdom teeth out? or this was a dentist?
Hey! The names of the previous and next comics came back! Yay!
Well, you get what you ask for occasionally… eventually.
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haha the last thing i heard when i went under was myself trying VERY hard to count backwards from 100 in my head, as my surgeion had instructed me: “100…99…98…99…no! um, 98…99…no, wait…”
I heard you can make yourself dyslexic that way.
Sounds like the sort of thing one of my students would say. They can’t help it, they’re foreigners!