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And underground
July 20th, 2008

And underground

As part of Apocalypse Ready, I was window-shopping for a safe room the other day – I have no intention of buying one, there’s something about them that makes me think of elaborate coffins… that and Jodie Foster…

Room for one more?

Looking at the classic piece of British literature, Protect and Survive I see that you an make your own shelter, in this case, against nuclear war. It all seems simple enough and apparently relies solely on bin bags full of duvets.

An optimistic title
The bags reflect the radiation

A list is also provided of things that you should have stored, they have numbered it in importance…

  1. Drinking Water
  2. Food
  3. Portable radio with spare batteries
  4. Tin opener, bottle opener, cutlery and crockery
  5. Warm clothing
  6. Bedding
  7. Portable stove, fuel and saucepans
  8. Torches, more batteries and matches
  9. Table and chair
  10. Toilet articles
  11. Changes of clothing
  12. First aid kit
  13. A box of dry sand cloths or tissues
  14. Notebook and pencils for messages
  15. Brushes, shovels and cleaning materials, rubber or plastic gloves
  16. Toys and magazines
  17. Clock and calendar

I don’t know about you, but I was hoping for something a bit more specific, rather than just a list of practically everything I own.

The order worries me too, sure, drinking water and food are the most important, but let me see you trying to open a tin of beans with a radio. And ‘table and chair’ – really? Furniture is more important than a first aid kit? – I’m sorry darling, but you’ll have to bleed to death, perhaps you’d like to sit at the table.

I would have hoped to see the clock and calandar a little higher too… at least above toys and magazines. I’m not sure, but I think when the apocalypse hits us, interviews with Tom Cruise will do little to pass the time, especially if you don’t know what day or time it is.

I was hoping to modify the list, add some things that I think would be beneficial to me, but I think they’ve got it covered… perhaps I’ll exchange the magazines for some books, and replace the table with table tennis. At any rate, I’m left looking for somewhere to buy a box of dry sand.

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28 Comments

  1. The Great Joe Bivins Identicon Icon The Great Joe Bivins on 20.07.2008 at 19:43 (Reply)

    “At any rate, I’m left looking for somewhere to buy a box of dry sand.”

    That’s a little “eats, shoots and leaves”, I think.

  2. J Gray Identicon Icon J Gray on 20.07.2008 at 20:30 (Reply)

    The big thing they’re missing from that list? Potassium iodide. You’re supposed to take 130 mgs of that a day (less if you’re a child, obviously) in order to minimize the dangers from exposure to radioactive iodine. I always wondered about the ventilation, but apparently the radiation clings to particles too large for soft tissue (such as the mucus membranes of the nose) to easily absorb. Huh.

    1. Ben Identicon Icon Ben on 21.07.2008 at 08:38 (Reply)

      I think any thing that contains iodine will do.
      Of course not pure iodine, otherwise you might have an accident with it and the cleaning chemicals…..

    2. Adam Identicon Icon Adam on 22.07.2008 at 11:57 (Reply)

      I gather from the protect and survive campaign that ’survival’ isn’t really the purpose of it… I think it was designed to placate people into thinking that in the event of a nuclear holocaust there is actually something that you could do.

      Including KI in the list of things to have would just encourage people to bother their pharmacy for no real reason (if bin bags are your first line of defence against the actual blast).

  3. Ben Identicon Icon Ben on 21.07.2008 at 08:56 (Reply)

    You will probably want some weapons or self-defense items.
    I reckon that a post nuclear city will be more chaotic than normal, so there would be a slight increase in your chances of home invasion, looting, etc.
    And if there isn’t, well you will be prepped to be the first to start that trend.

    Sorta a co-inky-dink, I am installing STALKER Shadow of Chernobyl as I am reading this comic.
    From all the history reports I have read about the event, more ppl died due to abortions then from the actual explosion or fallout. And most of those deaths can be blamed on media hysterics.

    FACT, did you know that granite naturally emits a radioactive gas. Your nice granite bench top is causing you more harm then if you lived next door to a nuclear power plant.

    1. Ti Identicon Icon Ti on 21.07.2008 at 13:33 (Reply)

      You’re probably thinking of Radon - UK HPA page on Radon: http://www.hpa.org.uk/webw/HPAweb&Page&HPAwebAutoListName/Page/1158934607718?p=1158934607718 )

      Seems silly really. If you didn’t know about it you wouldn’t care. Another one to add to the list of things to avoid if you don’t want cancer - Guardian article ‘Everything Gives You Cancer’: http://education.guardian.co.uk/higher/medicalscience/story/0,,547672,00.html

      Oh, and make sure you don’t eat apple seeds, they contain cyanide and a tree will grow in your stomach and make you explode. Also, avoid anything with more than two inches of water in it - YOU’LL DROWN!

      1. J Gray Identicon Icon J Gray on 21.07.2008 at 21:12 (Reply)

        Also, if you eat pop rocks and drink a carbonated beverage at the same time your stomach will explode! Its true. Happened to that Mikey kid. The guy they show sometimes? He’s a fake the big food industry cartels parade around to HIDE THEIR CRIME!

      2. Ben Identicon Icon Ben on 22.07.2008 at 09:32 (Reply)

        I think you would care if you were dieing from lung cancer caused by Radon poisoning.
        I doubt a granite bench top would emit enough radiation or Radon to hurt you tho, which was the point I was making.
        I know it can cause problems for ppl who have basements set into granite bedrock and for some mine workers.

      3. Adam Identicon Icon Adam on 22.07.2008 at 12:03 (Reply)

        Indeed, living is the primary cause of death in most organisms.

        In the others, it is drowning is shallow waters.

        1. J Gray Identicon Icon J Gray on 22.07.2008 at 12:14 (Reply)

          Life is a sexually transmited disease?

    2. Adam Identicon Icon Adam on 22.07.2008 at 12:00 (Reply)

      My hands are my weapons – they detach at high velocity….

      That and a boomstick.

      You’ll have to let me know what you think of Stalker…

      Oh noes, that means that I need to lose my granite underwear, doesn’t it?

      1. Ben Identicon Icon Ben on 23.07.2008 at 11:20 (Reply)

        Yes, you need to ditch the granite jocks.
        But, I hear that asbestos is a great fiber to make undies out of.

        Stalker is not great. Poorly made. Long load times, glitchy graphics, it often freezes for no reason, chews massive resources. I bought a top of the line laptop so I could play games alot more demanding then this, so I am somewhat disappointed.
        It does have reasonable AI and it is very addictive, faults not withstanding.
        Stalker has nothing on other FPS’s, like FEAR (another game I bought on the same day) or Call of Duty 4. It is a good cross genre (twice I typed gender) game, taking alot of elements from games like Fall Out Tactics, MorrowWind and fusing them with the key elements of FPS.
        Having never played a game like this before, I’m not sure what I should expect. I did expect faster game play with more action and less adventure. Going on missions to obtain monies/goods to trade with and upgrade your character is new for me, tho it isn’t overly endearing.

        I’ll be happy when the bugs are patched and I can play the game smoothly.
        Long load times and freezes do give me time to brew coffee, but I don’t need more then one an hour, certainly not every ten minutes.

  4. joenis Identicon Icon joenis on 21.07.2008 at 10:49 (Reply)

    what?

    1. Adam Identicon Icon Adam on 22.07.2008 at 12:03 (Reply)

      eh?

  5. Seraphine Identicon Icon Seraphine on 21.07.2008 at 13:04 (Reply)

    i couldn’t live without tissues.
    i suppose i could use an old t-shirt,
    but that can get quite gross, especially
    when one runs out of toilet paper.

    1. Adam Identicon Icon Adam on 22.07.2008 at 12:06 (Reply)

      *use some one elses old t-shirt… preferably whilst they are not wearing it*

      Good point… stock up on tissue, or learn how to make it from the charred remains of civilisation.

  6. Brandy Identicon Icon Brandy on 21.07.2008 at 13:35 (Reply)

    That list is essentially the same items we (I live in Florida) keep on hand in case of hurricanes.

    My apocalypse prep plan includes mastering various fighting styles. It couldn’t hurt and I might be able to get a job as an assassin in the reformed society. That’d be pretty sweet.

    1. The Great Joe Bivins Identicon Icon The Great Joe Bivins on 21.07.2008 at 22:01 (Reply)

      I also live in Florida, and I always got the impression virtually nobody actually kept that stuff on hand, they just panicked and cleaned off store shelves if a hurricane came near. I’d stock up on that stuff but I don’t have any money.

      1. Brandy Identicon Icon Brandy on 22.07.2008 at 03:17 (Reply)

        My family was always pretty good with keeping the basics on hand. But our town narrowly avoided a direct hit from Hurricane Charley and we were without power for over a week in the middle of August (most of the deaths were from heat stroke). After that, I started filling a large plastic container full of water and freezing it when a hurricane started to come in. Ice is great for keeping food cold and cooling yourself off but (as I found out during Charley) it can also be traded for other supplies (including gas). Ice became like gold after the hurricane hit. Stores had cardboard signs in their windows after a couple of days that said “No Ice Here!!”.

        1. The Great Joe Bivins Identicon Icon The Great Joe Bivins on 22.07.2008 at 05:39 (Reply)

          Yeah, I remember all that with the ice but I don’t remember much else since while the power was out I couldn’t sleep without A/C and I couldn’t think without TV.

          1. Brandy Identicon Icon Brandy on 22.07.2008 at 13:33 (Reply) (Comments won't nest below this level)

            If I’d been holed up alone, I would have been fine with no power and television. But my father nearly didn’t make it out of that week alive due to our being trapped together in a small house. So another tip for Panic Room survival: select your company wisely.

  7. golfwidow Identicon Icon golfwidow on 21.07.2008 at 15:38 (Reply)

    How did “a towel” NOT make this list? These people clearly are not cool froods.

    1. Adam Identicon Icon Adam on 22.07.2008 at 12:07 (Reply)

      How else would one reserve a sun bed?

    2. The Great Joe Bivins Identicon Icon The Great Joe Bivins on 22.07.2008 at 18:58 (Reply)

      I think a towel is implied. This list is clearly for people who know where their towels are.

  8. Seraphine Identicon Icon Seraphine on 21.07.2008 at 16:44 (Reply)

    you forgot the canary.
    or did they die off already?

    1. Ben Identicon Icon Ben on 22.07.2008 at 09:33 (Reply)

      Eaten….

      1. Adam Identicon Icon Adam on 22.07.2008 at 12:07 (Reply)

        ha, Sylvester style.

  9. Eldan Identicon Icon Eldan on 21.07.2008 at 16:45 (Reply)

    Actually, as an inhabitant of bunker country (swizterland) I can tell you why magazines are so high up: people usually start to kill each other after a week max in a bunker. Literally.

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