Staggered
Two very good friends of mine are getting married next week – a reason to party if ever you need one.
Normally I dread stag night parties, I’m just not the ‘get blind drunk, have a curry and insult the staff before heading to a strip club only to get thrown out for inappropriate behaviour and puking up the curry on the way home’ type (not that I have been on any like that, but I have heard stories).
They’re often seen as the ‘last night of freedom’ for the prospective groom, which is a little disturbing, since if you are already considering marriage to be some form sentence before your wedding day, I would advise that you reconsider going through with it… and so it was with great relief that my friend wants something a bit more sedate and appropriate to celebrate his impending conjoinance.
There’s a colloquialism around these parts, a stag night is often referred to as a ’stag do’, well, this will be a ’stag don’t’.
justine on 
waking up naked and in handcuffs
doesn’t sound so bad as long as it’s consensual.
Did the stag consent?
without birth control, can a stag get stagnant?
I think being male is the ultimate birth control when it comes to GETTING pregnant. Now, impregnating someone is a different story.
Depends on where it puts those antlers.
Only slightly related, but I had a reoccurring nightmare for years. In the dreams, I was getting married and had gone to a room to put on the dress. In earlier versions of the dream, my friends left me alone to do so and I climbed out the window and ran. In later versions, my friends were wise enough to stand guard so I couldn’t escape and I’d wake in a panic.
Ahhh, the Stag party. A collision of several human rituals I don’t really understand and that make me totally uncomfortable.
Not human so much as Male, but yah, totally odd and weird.
Oh I don’t know… I mean I’m here whining about stag parties, but the women, they’re just plain scary. The British hen night is truly a wonder to behold…. Nurses outfits, bunny costumes, all manner of genetalia-related acoutriments, tons of alcohol and rowdiness galore. Us men can’t hold a candle to that.
I stand corrected. : )
Are you saying, that as a man, I am unable to wear either a nurses costume or bunny outfit?
Well, I am wearing one of those right now.
So there.
(Don’t worry, I’m not really wearing anything like that)
Oh, don’t be a big wuss.* Look upon it as a unique cultural experience which might not be around for too much longer. I’ve been to a couple of stag nights (we call them ‘buck’s shows’ here in Oz - same theme, same animal) and they were highly educational and entertaining. One had topless waitresses who told us all about how they were working their way through uni and brought us beers while they shivered in their hot pants and another had an actual stripper who embarrassed the hell out of the two bucks and wrote a good luck card for one of them by holding a texta in her vagina.
However - I banned all that sort of rubbish at the my own bucks show and my best man organised a week-long trip to the Byron Bay Blues and Roots Festival. Girls were invited, we listened to music, drank beer, got vibed and generally had a great time. I’m not sure what the connotation with my final unmarried days was, but it was f***ing great!
Culture? We used to make that in the lab… it was usually a milky grey colour and would kill you if you imbibed it.
Nice use of pen holding skills…that could be handy should you get cramp in your hand…
Adam, is it really sensible to start people on the topic of stag do’s? At best, it turns into a conversation about beer, at worst, about strippers, and at The Flowfield Unity, it turns into a discussion about vaginal calligraphy and how it’s a good idea if you have hand cramps.
Then again, I’m far too young and innocent to understand what any of you are saying *simper,curtsy*
Ha.
Seriously, holding a pen in her bagingo? That must be the highlight of a very odd, and quite possibly well paid, career.
That is some awe inspiring skill.
Vaginal calligoraphy(sic), fun for the whole family.
I still can’t get over how you swots* call it vag-EYE-nal in stead of VAG-ih-nal.
*I have no idea what this word means.
Swot:(noun)
1.Nerd, Geek, Boffin, Boff, Person-Who-Studies-A-Lot
(adjective (I think))
2. To “swot up” on a subject is to become educated in it / to “cram” in order to glean understanding of it and become successful in the studies of said subject.
Yeah. Little Miss Define-A-Lot, s’me! Used to have the nickname “Dictionary” until someone asked what the actual definition of Sarcasm was, and I realised I didn’t know, I just use it a lot..
: D Thanks! I actually kinda did know what it means, but it’s good to know for sure. From the horses mouth, I suppose. I’m a bit of a dictionary myself, and give people points for using SAT words (that’s a college-level aptitude test here in the States, dunno if it’s int’l or not) in normal conversation.
Sometimes, in the middle of a conversation, I will stop and squeal excitedly at the fact I just used a long word in a normal conversation. I have been known to jump up and down on the spot crying “Yay, I said DEPLETED!!!!”
What can I say? I’m a swot.
oh, and SATS over here happen in year 6 and year 9. They’re not important other than for driving kids insane…grr…
Haha. My best friend and I were the only students excited to get the vocab lists in school. We’d walk around dropping our favorite ones into sentences as much as possible. I remember “facetious” being a favorite.
Isn’t that what the aptitude tests are for anyway, just to annoy the students?
Aptitude tests indeed are there to annoy students.
Achievement tests, on the other hand, are there to annoy teachers.
“What?! Young Charlie has actually remembered the majority of what he learned in high school? Disaster. We need to gauge his potential, not his proven abilities.”
* big wuss = “big jessy” as far as I can tell from British television
Ahh, we know that one, we have ‘Neighbours’ and that tourist video… what was it called… ah, ‘Crocodile Dundee’.
The only word that causes us any discomfort is the daytime use of the word ’spunky’, which I gather means ‘full of vim’ in Oz, whilst here… well, it doesn’t.
I’m not sure what spunky means there, but here it can mean sexy, smelly, jism.
Like most australian slang terms, it is entirely context and tone related.
My mate has planned an awesome stag party.
So far there is sky diving involved, hummer limmo’s, I’m guessing a fair amount of booze and Reservoir Dog style suits.
Should be a good day.
The girls have some thing else planned, but sorta of similar in style.
Our crew isn’t the sleezy bars and strip club type, so I can feel assured there will be no awkward moments to have to explain away to th bride.
Yes, I agree with Sera, handcuffs sound not so bad.
We don’t really have any strip clubs near here… just the womens rugby team… and we’ve all seen what they have to offer before, and at the end of every match.
If the weather was reasonable, I imagine we would just be sat out in the country building fires, telling stories and slowly building up a tolerance to alcohol.
on the subject of alcohol, Mr Em had an article in The Times yesterday about drinking in the UK…
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/guest_contributors/article4431923.ece
naked sky diving. perfect!
Strip clubs bore the living hell out of me. Strippers are like paying for candy you can’t eat.
Water, water, everywhere but not a drop to drink.
All you can look. Not all you can eat.
Why for is my posts awaiting moderations?
I’m enduring a bit of a spam comment onslaught at the moment… and you obviously seem like a suspicious character…
Well I am, but I don’t spam, only myspace comments threads anyway.
Wait are your friends getting married seperately or to each other. The post is ambiguous.
Indeed it is… They are getting married to each other.
Thanks for the clarification, I was going crazy from the confusion.
They’re often seen as the ‘last night of freedom’ for the prospective groom, which is a little disturbing, since if you are already considering marriage to be some form sentence before your wedding day, I would advise that you reconsider going through with it.
Would it be more accurate to say that the birth of one’s child (or ultrasonic confirmation of conception) is the last day of one’s freedom? Being half of a husband-wife-partner-partner unit still affords one room for selfishness and self-preservation. Being a father or a mother, on the other hand, expeditiously ends all “me, me, me” on the parent’s part, transferring it over to the offspring. Child will be all “me, me, me” until the child becomes of legal adult age. What you want is ultimately put on the back burner as your child’s needs and wants have to be addressed first. Nightmares, bullying, allergies, temper tantrums, eeeee…..
There’s a colloquialism around these parts, a stag night is often referred to as a ’stag do’, well, this will be a ’stag don’t’.
“Stagged if you do, and stagged if you don’t.”
I find I can ignore my daughter for up to an hour a day, so I get at least that much freedom… although I can’t actually leave her… so er… maybe not.
As it turned out, we had a pretty good night… actually a really good night.
I’m paying for it today, mostly with my liver and kidneys.
It’s not that I had a lot to drink, just that I didn’t have the fare for the taxi driver, and well, his brother works as a transplant surgeon…