Medication’s what you need
The title, by the way, is a reference to the them tune from the stout-sponsored kids show, Record Breakers – the line was actually ‘dedication’s what you need’.
It was a vision of the future, not so long ago, that everything would be in pill form – There would be medicines for every ailment and condition, and food in tablet form that would eliminate the need to actually eat – well, welcome to someones future.
I recently heard that city workers are taking Provigil to enhance their performance. Provigil is an anti-narcolepsy drug – it stops people that fall asleep easily from falling asleep all the time. So you can imagine what it can do for a non-narcoleptic. Time is money, so they say, and time sleeping isn’t time at all.
And so I’ve been thinking… If you could take a pill that would change something about you, what something would it be?
I can certainly see the benefits of Provigil, I could always do with more time, but I like my sleep too much… I could always make up time in other ways too… perhaps a pill then, that prevents my hair from growing. I’d save a fair bit on shaving and haircuts… or maybe one that stops me from saying stupid things, I could do with that too.
Very poetic.
Me, I’d take a pill that makes me not have to explain my jokes. It’d make social interactions a lot more… social.
are you joking now?
Give up.
*picturz of catz with speling misteak*
Humour Fail?
I meant to type “I give up”. Must be all the blood loss.
*offas cheezburger.*
*om nom nom nom*
Alternate title for this comic (sorry Adam).
lol. that’s funny!
a lot of people i know could use that too
I would take the pill that means I don’t have to take any more damn pills.
In this last week, I have taken 63+ pills.
Today I get scoped to see where my stomach lining went to.
I hate pills.
ben. it’s medically effective to take your medicine
rectally. you could insert half of your pills, so you don’t
have to swallow everything if you’re worried about
your tummy. seriously, talk to your doctor about this.
You can shove your idea where the sun doesn’t shine,
which I think is what you are trying to say anyway.
the yellow one is the happy pill, though it is often confused
with the sun. the sun rarely shines on soft cool moss…
Dayam….and do they all the same common side-effects? sleepiness, dry-mouth, weight gain/loss, death? don’t take it if you are pregnant or nursing or might become pregnant? if you are currently taking MAOIs consult with your doctor first?
Mostly just anti-biotics, anti nausea, anti inflammatories, etc.
None of them cause death directly.
In the three weeks that I have been ill, I have only managed to lose 5kg, which took me months of over eating to gain
Very 1984. We seem to be headed in that direction. I try my best to avoid pills if i can. Even vitamins. Preferring to eat whats needed to get the vitamins. The drug companies certainly don’t want you to get well. Just well enough to feel ok for a bit till you need them again. If they truly cured you of your ailment you wouldn’t need them again and they wouldn’t make money. Not in their interest to be what they tell you they are.
Can you imagine what those workers would do if they keep using that drug for too long? I don’t know about you but i don’t want someone keeping my electricity, water, and such going psychotic and trying to kill the giant purple chicken that has come before them, destroying my services in the attempt. The brain can only go so long without sleep before bad things start happening.
It is amazing that so many people think that pills can solve their problems. It just puts things on hold for little while. Nothing is solved. Then the problems just get worse.
As to what i would want from a pill? How about a time travel pill. Go on vacation and stay there for a few decades but only use a single week of real life? lol. Now that’s a pill for me. But for a change in myself? Hmmm…i guess a motivator pill. Then maybe i could lose these extra 25 pounds i am currently carrying. I do exercise but keeping motivated is a real hassle hehe.
They have that motivator weight-loss pill already!
It’s called ‘speed’.
I think the philosophy of the pill is quite ‘anti-life’. The basic premise is that you can cut down all of the tasks and functions you must perform to stay alive, reducing every even marginally tedious activity to the base act of swallowing.
Exercise? Swallow.
Eating? Swallow.
Learning? Swallow.
Thinking? Swallow.
Sleeping? Swallow.
But what does that then leave you with? You’ve got nothing to do but sit around marvelling at your free time after the morning’s pill session.
an immortality pill, i think all those cautionary tales about how unfulfilling an endless live would be are just the product of sour grapes.
that, and a pill that would create a world where the idealists would rule.
maybe we just need to dissolve antidepressants into the right glasses.
Really enjoyed this one
I hate pills. I’ll take an aspirin if my head is really hurting. that is, one aspirin, not two Tylenol, or 3 Advil, one generic aspirin or Bayer if my head is really hurting. or if I need to fall asleep. half a tablespoon of Nyquil to let me fall asleep. The rest is my own doing. Granted, if i truely needed a pill to live, say, for a life threatening illness that can only be cured by a pill, then yes, I would take it, but I believe in the power of my brain to give me the correct dosage of medicine to cure the basic issues.
So yeah, Pharmaceuticals are trying to control the population with drugs, scare you into taking this pill or that pill, when really, we don’t need pills. certain drugs will keep you alive, and yeah, you’ve got cancer, the doctor has pills to keep you alive, take them. But don’t take some pill you don’t need just to be “better” because you’ll just end up dead either way, you might end up dead sooner.
>And so I’ve been thinking… If you could take a pill that would change something about you, what something would it be?
I’d like a pill to change my tiny penis into a bigger one.
Thankfully, somebody’s just emailed me about a pill that will solve that problem! Now, where’s my life savings…?
More seriously, the Provigil thing sounds utterly terrifying- it used to be that people used an hour or two of overtime to get “an edge”- now constantly pulling silly hours is almost mandatory in many industries. How long before we all have to be doped up the eyeballs on Provigil so we can work 24 hours a day just to keep a decent job?
I mean, we wouldn’t get the time to enjoy our massive cocks.
/b
My penis is far too large.
I have enough trouble thinking straight as it is with it draining half of the blood out of my head at the fainest chance of arousal.
Some times I think females got it easy, no massive blood loss every five minutes.
one pill, to stay young and healthy and beautiful forever.
Now, I know a few city workers, and from their own description of their jobs, I can’t see why they would need anything to make them more alert. 3-4 hours out of every day they spend sitting in their truck at the park, waiting for a call to join a crew, and because of safety regulations, only 2 guys out a 5-man crew are ever actually -working- on any given site, and the other 3 are either waiting for their turn or are there to rescue the 2 if anything goes wrong.
http://www.jonathancoulton.com/songdetails/I%20Feel%20Fantastic
I’m narcoleptic and have to take Provigil every day in order to function. Being that I’m not too keen on shoving mysterious chemicals into my body, I’ve done a lot of research on it and it turns out that not only are professionals taking it to “get an edge”, but it’s quickly replacing Ritalin as the college student’s “study aide” of choice. The reason for its popularity is that unlike other stimulants, Provigil has no recovery time; that is, a person can pop a few tablets and stay awake for 90 hours, go to sleep, and wake up eight hours later feeling completely refreshed.
As an aside, Provigil is also one of a few relatively new medicines known as “smart drugs”. In recent studies, when non-narcoleptic volunteers were given a dose of the drug, their IQs temporarily increased.
that’s frightening, i don’t want to have to take pills in order to compete. but i don’t really have any good reasons for feeling that way other than adolescent rebellion.
I never took pills to compete.
Really, the only reason I had to take pills was adolescent rebellion.
I’d take the aforementioned immortality pill. Or just one to help with my social phobias. They suuuuuuuuuck.
I used to sing along to Record Breakers with the same words.
As for a pill to change something about me? Provigil sounds pretty much perfect for me- increased concentration, wakefulness and working memory without the unwanted side-effects of amphetamines? Sounds great. A social pill would be nice, too- something to stimulate the growth of mirror neurons, perhaps.
I knew a guy quite well that was taking modafinil (provigil? I think it’s the same thing…) as a work-aide on a pretty regular basis. He is a programmer for a major software company, and puts in pretty ridiculous hours pretty regularly (80-90 hrs a week). He does make up for it by taking time off after he works a silly stretch though, to compensate, a little.
He developed a serious reaction to it though, and ended up with his entire torso covered in huge red raised wheals that itched like hell. Happened once sort of mildly and he was like, “huh?” Happened again pretty severely, and he decided to not do that again.
I was with him for that second reaction, when he decided to not take it anymore: he offered me the rest of the bottle of modafinil. I turned him down, though now that I know the stuff has street value with college kids, I’m sort of wishing I’d taken it…
Ha, street value like you wouldn’t believe! During finals week, I could sell my monthly prescription on a college campus for a profit upwards of six thousand dollars. Although, to be fair, my prescription is far larger than most people’s.