perfectly sealed, no seam, valves, openings or such…

Pretty much uniform in colour, some lighter patches but essentially black and shiny, and rather smooth.

Any openings, ports, valves, etc.? Or perfectly contained?
Texture at the surface? Was it vascularized?
Straight black, really?

Hmmm.

Could potentially be an enlarged testicle too, I suppose.

Am I close?

Y’know, I’m hoping none of these are true… actually, that’s a lie, I am hoping that you munched your way through a pencil.

But i suspect that piercing your lip with a writing implement is the sort of thing that goes on in year 5… so I’ll pick that.

Your picture is uncomfortable for me to look at… I’m oddly squeemish about things like that (there was a Dr Who episode featuring a human interface that resembled you picture, made me feel quite unwell). but I think it is a mixture of graphic red and the expression on the face…

Mmm, the breads… my uncle taught me what they were. He worked in a slaughterhouse and would supply me with all manner of offal and such. i’m not sure how the word ‘sweet’ became attached to them though. he also showed me a perfect black sphere, a little bit smaller than a basketball and weight no more than a kilogram. He wanted to know if I could work out what it was…

Aaaand, I’ll take that as a compliment t’words the painting.

Dunno if it’s too late to join this game or not, but here’s my three:

1. In year three I ate an entire pencil, and nearly ate a second but the teacher stopped me.
2. In year five, someone accidentally shoved a pencil through my bottom lip, and a little graphite got trapped in the cut.
3. I once convinced someone that pencils were made from pigeon guts and squirrell fur.

The other two are really half-truths (the best way to fool people, as you’ve taught me!):

Number one didn’t take any doing — Sarah did that all by herself, though she didn’t actually get so far as ordering one; I stopped her. She did have a really great face when she found out sweetbread was actually fried thymus glands.

Number three is close: I painted a picture that caused my roommate in college to cringe and cover his face, every single time he looked at it (he still does, to this day), though he never actually vomited. I posted the picture on the ‘fridge. (Probably the weirdest thing is that, looking at it now, I’ve come so far as an artist, it looks really amateur in a lot of ways. I don’t know how it had such punch with him, despite the subject matter. Link.)

The truth is… that all of these are true… seriously, you’ve beaten me. I was waivering between 1 and 2… but I know that there’s quite a common condition that can cause people to vomit when presented by artwork (at least I think that’s the explanation for everyone vommiting at the comics convention)… I don’t have a clue.

*pictures Roo foraging for nuts and berries… seems all too plausible*

Although now I know, I feel a little sad to realise that narnia is indeed fictional….

1) I convinced someone that “Sweat Bread” was a kind of pastry. You should have seen the look on her face when her order arrived.

2) I spent a semester in college getting about half of my daily calories form foraged foods (nuts, berries, edible plants and roots, etc.).

3) I once painted a picture so grotesque it caused someone to vomit upon viewing.

The trick was half-truths…

1. Wasn’t actually me, it was the author Ian Marchant who coined that scam, and pulled it off.

2. This is the truth, it involved beer, plenty of it, but I managed to convince someone that Uri Geller had indeed done himself a mischief with his own powers.

3. The lie in this one is that it wasn’t my neighbours house, but one that I had lived in several years ago… oddly enough beer was involved in this one too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liar_paradox

Again, I think 2 might be the most plausible… mostly because I have always assumed that to be true too.

I’ll think of some things in a bit. Too many meetings in the last 25hrs.

1. I once convinced my little brother that Brussel sprouts contained surprises inside so he’d eat them all instead of me.
2. I once convinced my Chinese roommate that Americans always have sex on the first date.
3. I once convinced someone that eating strawberries would turn you red and eating blueberries would turn you blue.