Guest in a box
You’ll notice that today’s strip looks a little different. there’s a reason for that… I didn’t make it.
I’m a big fan of almost all modern art. I like the way it can be challenging, playful or just plain obscure. However, I can’t stand Damien Hirst.
It’s not because his half-a-cow and half-a-shark pieces are just pale imitations of what scientists have been doing for over a century, and it’s not because he has turned his art into a purely commercial venture. I can’t stand Damien Hirst because… he doesn’t make his art.
It’s not unusual for artists to do this – to let someone be their apprentice, let them do all the grunt work (in Hirst’s case, do everything) and then take the credit as a ‘visionary creator’. But I thought we were past that sort of pretentious rubbish. Of course, he calls them ‘Assistants’ – reminiscent of the way that people in care homes need ‘Assistance’.
This wouldn’t be so bad, but it’s not as if all the assistants get any recognition or credit. They might get paid… I don’t know, maybe he thinks the apprenticeship itself is payment enough. There are some notable exceptions to this, I admit. But there’s only one I can bring to mind.
And so, you can understand why I can take no credit at all for today’s strip; It is entirely, in concept and execution, the work of Mr Joseph Hewitt… it’s not fan art or guest art… it is part of The Flowfield Unity, just made by someone else.
Of course, Mr Hewitt is responsible for creating his own art too – the fabulous Ataraxia Theatre and the soon to be real-life book, The Vole That Dare Not Speak Its Name (I’ve seen it already, it’s very good).
As far as I see it, if I took any credit for the strip here, I might as well take credit for his comics too… and why stop there, why not take credit for all comics on the internet? That’s right, I make ALL the comics…
…or not. But still, I declare open season on taking credit for other people’s work. Help yourself to what you want… you don’t have to be involved in it in any way, hey you can even take credit for something you’ve never heard of, just so long as you let everyone know.
Thanks Joseph.
Ben on 
Ty on
I had something I wanted to take credit for, but I can’t remember what it was. I think it was a particular variant of a curse word. That’s okay, I’ll just take credit for socks. That’s right, I invented socks.
That’s cool, but I have copyright over ‘holes in socks’… that’s right, if you find a hole, you owe me.
I hope you all enjoy this strip I drew today, along with my diversely angry essay below.
That be one hundred million dollars.
“diversely angry essay”
Ha. You really should seek therapy for that.
nice, i want the same thing. exact same thing.
ps. your skull be included.
Eeep.
I, um, I’m the one responsible for all the music ever made.
That is right, all of it.
Sorry about modern pop.
Whoa, you made all music? Everywhere? That’s pretty good. There’s too much though; can you slow it down a bit?
Nope, no can do.
I am even responsible for those tuneless little songs ppl hum in the shower.
Damn, 11 “e”’s, I wonder how much bloody royalty I’ll have to pay for that?
I claim ownership over the color blue and the word “the”. I demand royalties whenever either is used.
This comic reminds me of my funeral arrangements that I’ve instructed my friends to carry out. It will be a Viking funeral. With a full Viking ship that has a live crew tied to it.
Actually, I own the letter “e” so 33% of the royalties you are paid for the word “the” will need to be paid to me.
Drats. Fair enough. But I claim full ownership of the “t” and “h” and am exempt from paying you for my uses of “e”.
Both of you… no cash from I will you gain, for I must boycott your words and such.
I claim ownership of the time used to create this comment.
You can have it.
I was sleeping any way.
Timeshare comments… now there’s an idea to steal.
One thing I find quite amusing is John Cage’s 4?33?, which effectively takes credit for not only other people’s work, but silence itself. Before John Cage, there was onl;y noise.
(I actually like the concept of 4′33″. Actually, it’s mine. I created it. Sod this John Cage bloke.)
Good call!
*P. J. Schadenfreude now owns all the bits in between words*
I heard on the radio once that John Cage threatened to sue another artist who gave a title to a couple minutes of silence at the end of his CD. Cage claimed it was an unauthorized quotation from his own silence. The other artist asked him to specify which part of 4′33′ was being quoted, and he never heard from Cage’s lawyer again.
That is true genius in responses to true arrogance.
The whole Cage/Silence thing is important. Very post-modern, and influential. But I get the feeling that he took himself a little too seriously over it.
I take credit for the word “Munflewhiptish” which is both a swearword and a compliment, when used correctly. (by me)
I also shall be claiming royalties for the phrases “motherfluffer” “flufftard” “pisscake” “fucktard” and “Your walk is a rhetorical question!”
Yes, everything I invent is a swearword or insult. Tha’s me!
Dale Chihuly does the same thing. He has an entourage of assistants that do his work for him, but i still give him credit for revolutionizing glass sculpture from a craft to an art form.
and i think that damien hirst COULD BE brilliant. Is his art what he makes (or in this case doesn’t?) or is his art truly a conceptual piece on the commercialization of the art world itself? If he goes by the latter, that would be amazing.
Also we need a new Andy Warhol/salvadore dali, another artist in the limelight, It’s great that people are actually debating over an artist for once. That means that everyday people MIGHT be able to name an artist that is still alive.
on damien hirst –
Thus again we find a direct equivalent to Victorian academia, whose sentimental, moralising genre pieces did exactly the same for their age. The fact that Hirst’s work does mirror society is not its strength but its weakness – and the reason it is guaranteed to decline artistically (and financially) as current social modes become outmoded.
so apparently that is not a cool thing about his art.
original article here:
http://www.channel4.com/culture/microsites/H/hirst/against.html