e Love
I was reading this article the other day and it cracked my somewhat cynical heart a little.
Whilst long distance relationships are not anything new, the internet, it seems, has become a facilitator of love… and that’s not a euphamism for the sheer volume of pornographic sites out there… apparently.
It seems too that this phenomenon is not just due to the numerous dating sites either, rather it is like any other venue where you may bump into a potential love. Work, a bar… Second Life…
So, what I want to ask, really, if it’s not too personal, is how many of you have found your significant other electronically? Do you know someone who has?
…or are there any horror stories – meeting up only to find that blonde haired beauty called Michelle is actually an overweight builder named Steve?
Actually, why not take this a little further too… any unusual place or circumstance you’ve found love…
Answering your questions with a question.
The internet has not only bridged geography with respect to real-time interaction of email & chat, it seems to also have enabled certain people to maintain relationships that would never have worked in person.
It’s not too ridiculous, right? Can you think of online pals that get along swimmingly with exchanging typed words, maybe the occasional video call, but they probably wouldn’t do so hot in person?
sitting pugss last post..Off Topic: Et Voila, Interview with Gary des Semaines
Not really… I mean that anyone I meet online, and get on well enough to have even the briefest of chats, I would probably be able to maintain that relationship in meatspace, the fleshosphere as it were.
Unless of course, they were somehow editing their personality in a way they wouldn’t do in person.
To be fair, I’ve only met a couple of people online first… and in each case the people I have met are far more interesting in person, far more entertaining and friendly too… Perhaps I’ve been lucky.
I’ve met people online before i meet them in person and I’m usually far more compatible with the internet first people than the people i know in real life. I guess it’s cos i only talk to people online who share my interest yet, in real life the people you run into are products of the environment in which you find them, such as school or work… you might have those things in common but that’s just cos you both have to be there.
I met one of my ex-girlfriends online, she was a really cool chick, we stayed together along time and she was one of my better relationships.
So for me the internet is the best way to met people.
artisticDOOMs last post..Don’t Play With Matches!
A person’s entire, full-bodied vibe in the offline world can be vastly different than their online, intangible self.
I’d say that…over the years, I sometimes prefer just chatting than to meet up in person…even if it’s someone I’ve known in the offline world for a long time.
sitting pugss last post..Off Topic: Et Voila, Interview with Gary des Semaines
That’s is a point there too… that sometimes you just don’t need to meet someone in the flesh to have a relationship with them. I mean it’s like the modern verison of a penpal or a distant relative communicaing through letters, except with a faster turnover.
Yep, yep.
What with my social phobias the ways of love are a mystery to me, which is annoying because the parts of my brain involved in all that are hyperactive for some reason. You think they’d atrophy from neglect.
Back in my message board days though I had an extended flirtation with several girls, the most intense with an aspiring artist in Idaho.
Also hi everybody! Remember me? Yeah you probably do.
The Great Joe Bivinss last post..I Curse and It’s a Whole Blog Post
Of course we remember you Joe, you’re a legend!
Reverend Legend, even.
I think online dating depends on as many variables as irl dating. It really just comes down to who you have a connection with, whatever your definition and however it happens.
That said, the online dating sites still creep me out a little.
Brandys last post..Friday Night Fluff: Halloween 2 Trailer
I personally haven’t found my love online, but a friend of mine did. They were chatting online a few years back, they met up for the first time at a concert (I was actually there), and now, about 6 or 7 years after, they are married. He moved to her hometown.
And although my longtime girlfriend and I didn’t meet online, I did have a girlfriend that I picked up on the Internet. It’s also a question of luck.
I am a single father of 41 who has been embroiled in an internet relationship of nearly one year. She is the girl of my dreams and if I’m to believe her, I’m made of the same magical stuff. We have shared our deepest secrets, gazed dreamily upon each others naked body, had a couple of fights, cried, laughed, drank with each other, read to each other, and shared many of our daily activities together. We’ve charted much of our future together: marriage, kids, style of furniture, vacations, responsibilities. But we’ve never actually met.
At my age some would think this irresponsible but I think I’m a fairly good judge of character in women (though honestly I don’t know what I was thinking with regards to my son’s mother). I am well aware of what I like and can decide fairly quickly whether or not a particular woman and I will get on. I’m also not unrealistic, there is a certain chemistry with another body that one cannot bridge until one meets that person in the real. Things could all come crashing down that first night of flesh on flesh, it’s unlikely, but it could be bad, something inside of me says though that it will be really, really good.
As an aside–and not to cast a dark shadow over the whole affair though I know this tidbit shall do just that for some of you–we met in Azeroth…
Yay for the internet… that’s lovely.
And irresponsible? If that were the case meeting anyone under any circumstances would just be the same. Besides, do you think that it’s better to know someone itellectually, so to speak, before physically?
Azeroth… I won’t snark at you for that… the couple that battles together, stays together
Seriously, congratulations, I really hope it works out well for you. Are you planning on meeting soon?
Absolutely about knowing someone intellectually before meeting someone physically though I’ve had one particularly intense relationship where our knowledge of each other on an intellectual basis took a back seat until we explored each other’s physical side, but never mind, I can’t criticise that for what it was, nope.
We gave up WoW about a month ago together. It was very freeing to be honest. But yes, I’ve known a few WoW relationships over the years, two couples just had their first child this year. It’s not all bad, to be sure.
And thank you Adam. We are planning on meeting this summer and should things go well her belongings will follow. I’m in a bit of a sticky wicket regarding my visa and then hers but I think things will be okay. To say that this will be a rougher road than the typical boy-meets-girl would be accurate but I think we’ll be better for it. Cheers.
Chows = ‘Children of Warcraft’… bet there must be a few of those knocking about now.
Ah, Visa stuff… is there such a thing as a love visa? I know there is a fiancee type one that puts an arbitary limit on your stay defined by you actually getting married by a certain date…
Good luck soldier!
Hey, I thought you might like to read my blog at *************.com. Also, you are a faggot. Or werply doobernackle or whatever dumb shit they say over in the Queen’s English.
Hey Josh, thanks for sharing your opinion…
Now I’m not normally one for censorship, but in this case I’ve erased the name of your website, not because it’s offensive, but because I don’t think your purile, homophobic, racist views deserve any attention.
As it happens, I did read some of your blog though… you seem very insecure… I’m guessing sexual disfunction combined with an over-protective mother.
Seriously, Josh, don’t come back here and don’t comment on my site ever again.
Don’t let them get to you Adam, that’s what they’re after. As it happens, I knew a homophobic, xenophobic fellow in high-school that sounded a lot like this guy. His own repressed homosexuality was the problem: once he’d admitted he was actually gay, all the homophobia (and more interestingly, the xenophobia) dried up and went away. I think a lot of people that spout this sort of hate are doing it to channel a degree of self-loathing I hope I’ll never be able to understand.
Here’s hoping he figures his issues out, before he hurts himself, or someone else. It’ll come with growing up.
Maybe he’s a latent werply doobernackle?
/b
Can some one please tell what the fuck a werply doobernackle is? Is it is some kind of ground nesting bird?
Bens last post..DSC_2736
Ground nesting? Well, that would explain why this guy probably lives in his parents’ basement…
Erika Hammerschmidts last post..Abby and Norma #434
It’s a doobernackle of werp-like characteristics, obv.
/b
I’m confused, who’s a werply doobernackle? And is that just the way people introduce themselves on the internet nowadays, by speculating on one another’s sexual preferences?
The Great Joe Bivinss last post..I Curse and It’s a Whole Blog Post
It continues…
I visited the site in the comment,and I realised that ‘Josh’ was not the name of the guy behind the site… that is, the site is run by Justin Merrill…
And since the email address supplied for the comment was also fake I decided to email Justin to let him know what comment was left, in case it was spamming him too. However, here was his response:
Oh yes, Justin, you will hear back from me indeed.
I did indeed leave a comment on your site, using my real name and a real email address, unlike you (a sure sign of cowardice is hiding behind a false name and email, but to be so stupid as to then leave a link in the body of the comment to your site)… I left a comment mostly because I felt sorry that you had no other comments. That will be the last time I decide to participate in anything to do with you. Well done for showing your readers respect.
I’m now going to take your email, and you, apart line by line to show you what an idiot you are.
First, however, I’d like you, my readers to see the face behind the wit that is Justin.
I don’t like to judge a book by it’s god-awful, child scaring cover… but you have to agree, all of a sudden some of this makes sense. OK, on to the email…
So, essentially you are saying that you’ve made a decision something is bland without actually looking at it. How do you do that and where can I get such super powers? Plus, I see from your pathetic attempt at a website that you tout yourself as a freelance writer. I have to mention that your punctuation is awful, as is your spelling and general grammar, not just here in this email/comment, but also on your site.
Well, now we know your reading level I can understand why you found my ‘blog’ too difficult. From now on I will only use short words so that you can understand.
Actually, that’s a bit harsh. I like children’s books. Mostly they are entertaining and educational… you know, like the opposite of everything you manage to write.
Good. But if you had read much of what I do you would know that one of my favourite things is challenging ignorant bigots. As for your heart, I suddenly find myself a lot fonder of cholesterol and its effects on people like you.
Oh, it is my friend, make no mistake. But that’s not what I took exception to. You are free to write what you like on your own blog, however, I do object to you leaving comments here full of your brand of racist, homophobic bullshit.
And I’m slightly impressed that that you invented the insult ‘hydroglite’ just for me. The thing is, because the rest of your writing is so bad I can only assume this word is a typo.
Not really, I just sent an email. And I’d happily send you an email every day for the next ten years to tell you what an obnoxious person you are… except that I know this is probably the most contact you’ve had with another human in years and I wouldn’t want you to get attached as once I’ve finished this I hope to have no further contact with you.
I have plenty interesting to say, like bad how your grammar is makes you sound like Yoda. Freelance writer. How much work do you get?
This is my favourite line. You are quite happy to admit to being racist but are slightly outraged that I call you homophobic? As it happens I didn’t say your blog was either of those things, I said YOU were racist and homophobic. My evidence for this is from your first comment where you called me a faggot and attacked my nationality… I can’t comment on your blog because unlike you I’m unwilling to make judgements about things I don’t read… I only managed two posts before I gave up and thought that nailing my hands to my desk was a better use of my time.
The thing is, you come across as someone with a terribly low IQ. You think that engaging people on such an offensive level is somehow rewarding, and that’s the sign of someone who is starved of attention.
I’m struck by the irony of creating a comic and a post about how people find others that they love using the internet only to find you.
Yes there’s no shortage of irony on the internet, neither is the supply of jerkwads running dry.
Honestly we tout the internet as a place to make connections but isn’t it telling that so often it’s just a place to make an ass of oneself anonymously?
The Great Joe Bivinss last post..I Curse and It’s a Whole Blog Post
The people that use the internet to make asses of themselves anonymously often do a perfectly good job of also making asses of themselves in meatspace. They’re just a bit easier to avoid, I tihnk — you can see them coming.
I like childrens books
Where the Wild Things Are FTW
Anyway, I suspect that these attacks are a method of attracting attention to the gits site. Generating traffic is important to some and doing so by being controversial is an easy method.
Take a look at the name, Educated Whore, it speaks volumes about the mindset of the author.
Knowing that the attack was an attempt to raise traffic volume, I still went for a gander. Whilst I did not spot any blatent racism or sexism (homophobic or otherwise), I did notice a general disregard for grammar and proper sentence structure. This guy seems to write like I speak when I am tired, strung out on caffiene and in a shitty mood. That he claims this is his shining example of literary brillance is worrying.
Anyway, I have far more important things to do than to worry about a werbly doobernackle, I have to go vacuum the floor.
Bens last post..DSC_2736
When you say “single father of 41″ you are referring to your age, right? Not your number of children?
Erika Hammerschmidts last post..Abby and Norma #430
Haha, good observation, I could get myself in a real pickle with grammar such as that. Cheers. Of course I’m only 24 years old…
*Kelbo renamed to ‘The productive kelbo’*
Haha! Fitting: Erika, I did the same thing on the first read through.
*Inevitable “Oh God I’m So Alone” post*
/b
I met my wife through Friendster.com about 6 years ago. We emailed back and forth and quickly took it offline to a local starbucks. Friendster in it’s really early phases was like a 6-degrees project – and it worked. I had friends that played in the same bands as her brother, so we had a few people in common. We were married in 07 and bought our first house last July. I actually wrote Friendster.com to see if they’d sponsor a part of our wedding! lol they said no, but asked if we’d like to be in a commercial. We declined the offer…
I think the key to internet dating is to make an offline connection in a public place sooner rather than later. In my experience, the web basically played the role of the bar.
“I think the key to internet dating is to make an offline connection in a public place sooner rather than later. In my experience, the web basically played the role of the bar.”
Absolutely: everyone I know that’s had any luck with something like Friendster or OKCupid has got it into meatspace really quickly. Something about that body chemistry, or maybe there’s a subconscious fear to actually meet, once you’ve emailed for so long, if there’s intent to date.
That said, friendships seem to not work this way: they’re fine with years of on-line before meeting. I’ve met several people that I got to know very well online first in the fleshosphere, and it’s always turned out well.
eCongratulations!
I do like the idea of the service, or the location where you meet your significant other sponsoring your wedding… makes me wonder about all the different places people meet… restaurants, bars, doctors surgeries…
Well, I didn’t meet my wife online but I did meet my business partner on-line, which is *almost*, but not quite, the same thing. : ) However video chat and such-like helped us through the long periods of seperation brought on by work and school over the years.
DmLs last post..iBrawl by Gourami
I think you probably need a more stable relationship with your business partner than anyone else… there’s a great Poliakoff drama about that. ‘Friends and Crocodiles’:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/drama/friendsandcrocodiles/
It’s very good.
Oh also, if you add a zero to the heart it reads:
“\©oÓgTá·%¶Þk]ÖøU
¥S²ë&¤ãVžÉ©»-Wb”
Leading zero:
.TŠ·é³ªpÛ’
Ûo5®ë|NªÒ©ÙFõ
“Rq«OdÔÎÝ–«±
DmLs last post..iBrawl by Gourami
You actually typed down all those ones and zeros and looked up what they meant. That is… just about as nerdy as meeting the love of your life online.
But then, I’m not one to talk. I transcribed a binary dog newspaper:
http://www.erikahammerschmidt.com/erika/twolegpig.html
Erika Hammerschmidts last post..Abby and Norma #430
I type 50 words a minute with a 99% accuracy rate, took about 45 seconds.
DmLs last post..iBrawl by Gourami
Although I will say that I was getting a bit bored by the 38 second mark, then googled “binary to ascii converter” and voila. : )
DmLs last post..iBrawl by Gourami
wow, just wow.
Both of you, amazing.
01011001011011110111010100100000011000100110111101110100011010000010000001100001011011010110000101111010011001010010000001101101011001010010111000100000010100110111010101100011011010000010000001100111011001010110010101101011011110010110111001100101011100110111001100100000011010010111001100100000011100110110001101100001011100100111100100101110
Bens last post..Chive Flowers
Why stop with binary?
http://psychobabel.net/mosaic/node.php?hp=radio
0100100100100111011011010010000001101010011101010111001101110100001000000
1110100011100100111100101101001011011100110011100100000011101000110111100
1000000111001101110000011001010110000101101011001000000111010001101000011
0010100100000011011000110111101100011011000010110110000100000011011000110
0001011011100110011101110101011000010110011101100101001011100010000000111
0100010000000101001
DmLs last post..iBrawl by Gourami
Someone has to post this, I suppose.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGoi1MSGu64
/b
Oh dear god, that’s brilliant. Binary solo!
It would be even more brilliant if the guitar tablature for it was really all 1′s and 0′s.
That said, I do wonder what, if anything, they actually said in binary. Anyone care to listen again and transcribe it into an ASCII decoder?
Erika Hammerschmidts last post..Abby and Norma #432
I should have put a message in there, shouldn’t I?
I might actually re-do this one with something cute in binary.
And seriously, points scored of the geek variety to all of you, especially for looking!
Might I suggest “Taking the time to decode this is why you’re single ;P”?
/b
Genius! Absolute genius!
agreed. the internet is a great place for love. dating websites, yahoo answers, and blog sites. you’re bound to connect with someone on an intellectually arousing level. no horror stories either. sometimes you just click and can build up a trust with someone. I’ve had decent relationships with people as a result of these encounters. and not only love, i’ve met my absolute best friend on the internet, and several others i could not do without.
Again, that’s really good to hear… I’m rather surprised by the response to this… it’s been overwhelmingly positive.
But yahoo answers? What sort of a question do you ask? ‘Anyone want some of this’? Ha.
Heya, have not got the time to read all the comments, so I’ll just leave my story and wander back later and finish the job.
I love internet dating sites. I’ve been on atleast 10 dates with girls I’ve met online. Not many horror stories, just one.
If you don’t like cruel jokes about fat ppl, now would be a good time to tune out.
I was talking to this girl for a few days and she seemed nice. Her description said she was 170cm, atheletic, blonde, fair skinned. And it was all true.
Just, by atheletic, she meant she was a hammer thrower and competitive shotputter, so she was a rather large girl, well over 100kg.
Needless to say, I was shocked and disappointed (yes, I am very shallow, blah blah blah).
The rest of the girls I have met online have been typical of females everywhere.
I dated a girl that threw shotput for a while… strong thighs can be an asset, you know.
Hmmm, strong thighs are good indeed. But it was the fact that she described herself as fit and atheletic, when she was infact massivelly overweight. False advertising shits me to tears.
Bens last post..Chive Flowers
I’m dating a girl I met on OKCupid (which is a dating site that’s more like Facebook — somehow nearly everyone I know in Philadelphia’s on there, it turns out). It’s gone swimmingly.
Seems like the online dating thing is a bit more common in the queer and poly communities, at least here. Perhaps because in meatspace you run a real risk of losing a friend if you try to make the leap to asking someone out without knowing precisely if they’re into your gender, presentation, or are okay with poly relationships. Online, all of that is presented on the surface, and it lets you find others of similar persuasions.
Hmm im very sceptical about online dating, not for other people just myself. I don’t ahve the best of luck and i wouldnt trust meeting up with people online ever lol.
I do think that it is relaly sweet when people find love online because loves love, what isn’t sweet about that!
I met my lady on the internets, but she STILL lives in Japan. (>.<)
Sounds like a great excuse for long visits to Japan to me.
Do you need an excuse to visit Japan? It’s one place i have to visit at least once in my life time.
haha, can I point out one set of relationships that remains pretty much entirely web-based?
All of ours.
I only know Roo via TFFU, msn and the occassional skype, and Adam through TTFU and emails. The rest of you I know via TFFU alone (although there is the odd facebooker) The internet can offer some pretty stable relationships, but it can make things harder too. Friendships over the web are a lot easier than relationships.
My friend started dating a guy on the internet, eventually met him, got “engaged”, met him loads of times….lost her virginity to him….and then found out he was a total arse and had her heart broken. If she’d seen him every day, then either the relationship would’ve worked or she would’ve found out he’s an arse earlier and saved a lot of pain.
I also had a kinda-of relationship via msn with a guy i’d met a few times. We never even kissed in person, because by the last time I saw him, he had a girlfriend. The day I found out that he and her had….you know…in real life, it tore me apart. But at least I didn’t have to keep seeing him, and feeling that stabbing pain again and again like i would’ve if he’d been at my school. Then again, if he’d been at my school we might’ve even been dating now..
Damn.
It took me a while to figure out that it was you making all those attacking comments on my website. It all came together with the e-mail. Your pretty damn lucky your are using IP Privacy techniques because I would have attacked the shit out of your connection. I just MAY be kind enough not to attack this webpage.
Also, when insulting me, use proper punctuation and grammar. I believe you wanted to call me PUERILE. Which the definition of the word makes me giggle as I write this.
Also, please note that my webpage has a disclosure policy. The policy indicates that writing on my page my be offensive to certain viewers and demographics. Please dont bitch at me about my site being offensive when I spell in black and white that it is.
Justin – The Educated Whores last post..Stand Up
OK, you are right, I did make an error… puerile it is…
However, aside from being an attention seeking, obnoxious character, you are also quite paranoid.
Do you really think I’d bother to leave any comment or even visit your site after the first one I did led to this torrent of abuse? As for being pretty damn lucky about using IP privacy techniques, the only one I use is not visiting your site… which I suppose I do consider lucky.
Besides leaving nasty comments is not my style, mostly because I don’t want to be like you.
And I’m taking your threats seriously… If you are capable of ‘attacking’ this site, and decide to do such a thing, I know your hosting company and your ISP, and I will have no hesitation pursuing this as a legal matter.
And finally, for the last time, I don’t give a monkeys what’s on your site, if you had bothered to read any of this you’d know that my problem is with that shitty little comment you left on my site.
So please, go away, calm down and do something constructive with your time.
Yeah, your reply is much better than mines, spot the big kid :S
Wait, so is this Justin fellow actually an educated whore? He has sex for money and also has some sort of post-secondary qualifications? Tell me Justin: can you charge more for a rimjob if you are also a qualified neurosurgeon? Is prostitution a sideline or your main source of income? Do you just walk along the street or do you work out of a brothel or maybe yours is more of an escort arrangement? Do you feel your pimp treats you equitably and with an adequate level of civility? If not have you considered forming some sort of rudimentary union with your fellow sex workers?
Also I have to agree you are abrasive and not particularly verbose (as one would expect a “freelance writer” to be). I mean no particular offense, these are character flaws you should probably work on. Consider it constructive criticism. Douchebag.
The Great Joe Bivinss last post..I Curse and It’s a Whole Blog Post
Gotta love some one that corrects others spelling mistakes, yet makes plenty themselves.
Justin, the un-educated whore.
Joe, do think douchebagging is one of the services he offers? I noticed he says he is in the US Army, so do you reckon he is the barracks whore?
I wonder what the army would do to him if he was charged with international computer crimes?
Electronic Sexual Harrassment would be an embarrassing charge.
Bens last post..Family Portraits
“Joe, do think douchebagging is one of the services he offers?”
Hahaha.
Umm, yeah. NOT related to the comic so emm, yeah we don’t care.
OOOooo scary, a disclosure policy, im shaking in my booties xD
My name is David, and I met the Flowfield Unity on the internet. It was love at first site…. heheh.
DmLs last post..iBrawl by Gourami
Man, I don’t visit this place for a couple of weeks and things get intense!
It’s your fault, we are blaming you entirely for this.
Bens last post..Family Portraits
Yeah, Justine, why did you let this happen?
Welcome back, how are things with you?
Oh, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!
Things with me are very busy, as you may have guessed. I have been checking the comic every now and then but I never have anything interesting to say so I tend to say nothing!
I am curious, Ben, do I count as a girl you have met online then in real space? Clearly I literally fit the criteria, but you know what I mean.
Well, there was no romantic developments between us, so no, no I don’t count it.
If I did count non sexual/romantic encounters, the figure wouldn’t be much higher, maybe only twice what it currently is.
Bens last post..Family Portraits
I have been checking the comic every now and then but I never have anything interesting to say so I tend to say nothing!
I met my last three girlfriends online, in all three cases we ended up subsequently meeting in person somewhere between a few days and a month later, and the most recent of those relationships lasted almost 2 1/2 years in meatspace. I also met my current love interest online and maintained a friendship with her in cyberspace for 2 1/2 years (yes this 2 1/2 years ran mostly parallel to the 2 1/2 years I was dating my ex, for anyone who was wondering) prior to meeting in person over the summer, we are not dating yet, due to certain circumstance I would rather not explain. We are however quite close friends and spend tome together whenever we can.