A small feast
Perhaps we’ll never know what makes the contents of our craniums so attractive to zombies… the gooey centre? The sound of a cracking skull?
They seem happy enough to eat it, but for some reason they never fill in the feedback forms, and generally seem to dislike being interviewed or asked to partake in focus groups.
I think it could be that they don’t know any better, that no one has shown them the delights of pizza or chocolate. My reason being that if they really were only interested in brain, they would have found some way to catch whales.
The human brain is typically about 1500g, now compare that to a sperm whale, a creature that carries around 7800g. If brain is your thing (and I believe it is for those of you shuffling at the back there) the whale seems like a far better prospect.
What’s that? You can’t swim? OK, could I interest zombie sir in the elephant?
The Asian elephant packs a hefty 7500g into its skull.
… or maybe it isn’t about pure size, but perhaps the ratio of brain to body mass. Humans have a surprisingly high ratio, about 2.1% of our body mass is brain. The whale fares less well with about 0.008%.
But if that is the case then the true delicacy of the zombie world would be the common mouse with 3.2% of its body mass attributed to its brain.
I’ve never seen a zombie nomming on a mouse, perhaps we should point it out to them to save ourselves.
But what of the nutritional value of said brains? If Elephant brain isn’t much better than Bamboo, then it might be better for Zombies to stick to humans…
/b
Good call… I had assumed that all grey matter was the same…
We need a brain connoisseur, a semelier of synapses…
Still, I’m pretty sure that we should be finding some way to ween them off us.
More importantly, why don’t they eat each other?
The 327th Males last post..Consume!
I believe they do, when they run out of fresh brains, like normal humans, they go for left overs.
One of my favorite movie lines of all time is from Planet Terror, when the little boy is playing with his toys and says, in a “redrum” sort of voice:
“I’m going to eat your brain and gain your knowledge.”
Maybe that’s why the zombies prefer us. All of those ideas, those emotions, those experiences combine together and taste like nougat.
Brandys last post..Election in South Ossetia, Opposition Protests in Georgia
Zombies don’t seem to gain any knowledge from eating brains, though.
However, if they prefer smart brains, perhaps the way to save ourselves is to become stupid. A tall order, but it might be accomplished with a sharp blow to the head or a few weeks reading Stephenie Meyer novels. (Although I suppose that if everyone on earth lost brainpower, the zombies’ standards would lower and they’d just keep eating us, so it’s a solution that only works temporarily for individual people.)
Erika Hammerschmidts last post..Abby and Norma #455
Maybe they do get the knowledge but it comes all jumbled up in parts and there’s no directions for how to put it all together. And that’s why they’re so pissed off.
I’d rather be eaten by zombies than read Stephenie Meyer novels. I wouldn’t even have to think on that one.
Brandys last post..Missing Air France Plane
I have to agree with that. Tho, given the choice, I’d probably attempt to beat the zombies to death with the novels. I think that would work really well.
Bens last post..HDR Freo Sunset
I feel awful because my first response to this was to try and *like* that post. Facebook has ruined me!
But yes, I would have to agree. Rallying up a bunch of friends to go and see the New Moon movie when it comes out late this year and take the piss.
I’m not sure if I could sit thru the entire movie. I might have a mental break down and hurt some one.
I sat through the first one… and I wasn’t the only one laughing at the inappropriate times.
Terrible acting, laughable action sequences and a condescending storyline… It’s horrible really but the little girls seem to love it.
Back in the winter I went to see Frost/Nixon at my local theater at my usual time of 12 noon, because I rarely have anyone in the theater with me when I go at that time and there’s never a line. Two middle aged women, not together, were ahead of me, and they both bought tickets to Twilight and both had long discussions about the whole Twilight series with the ticket-taker, another middle aged woman who was also a fan. It was a very odd scene. Frost/Nixon was pretty good anyway.
The Great Joe Bivinss last post..Fuzzy Rings Around My Eyelids
So, what you are saying is that it the case of a zombie uprising, it’s probably best to stand next to someone brainy but feeble, as a decoy.
Ladies and gentlemen, I will be now hanging out with Mr Stephen Hawkin, zombie bait.
Meals on wheels.
/b
Oh, that’s dark…
I like that. Canned brain food drive.
sitting pugss last post..NFL News: Don’t hit me with your best shot
It wasn’t long ago that it was perfectly acceptable to eat brains whether you were a zombie or not. I’ve got a copy of Good Housekeeping’s Cookery Encyclopedia first published in 1973. This is what it says about brains…
“The brains of calf, sheep or pig, which are sold either with the head or separately, are considered a delicacy…the brains must be very fresh. Wash them in cold salted water, removing loose skin and any clots of blood…when they are thoroughly cleansed, put them into a small saucepan with cold water to cover, a pinch of salt and a good squeeze of lemon juice”
it goes on to give recipes for calf’s brains on toast, and scalloped calf’s brains. Nice.
juzzards last post..Ice Lolly
Ah, the days before BSE… I remember them, and indeed I have eaten some cow brain myself.
Offaly good… chewy… won’t ever be doing it again.
And you score plenty of geek points for having a ’73 ed. of ‘Good House Keeping’ to hand whilst being on the internet!
“Offally” good… I love it. You win another pun award.
Erika Hammerschmidts last post..Abby and Norma #456
Yeah, puns rule!
I couldn’t resist it.
I dont think reading the Stephanie Meyer books will help as i think the zombies will go for every single person who has read them to abolish all exsistence of her books. I mean, even zombies would hate them, afterall they dont go for trash.
Even zombies have standards, ha.
Maybe that Myers stuff is like Kryptonite to them…
(I know it is to me)
I wonder what zombies think of vampires, anyway. They’re similar concepts: creatures that go around trying to change ordinary humans into their kind against their will. Like religious proselytizers and the Borg. I think they’d all be friends.
Erika Hammerschmidts last post..Abby and Norma #456
As a matter of fact the Borg are most often described as “cyber zombies”. The second most common observation being that they “sound Swedish.”
The Great Joe Bivinss last post..Fuzzy Rings Around My Eyelids
The only reason I am shuffling at the back of the crowd is a lack of coffee.
Bens last post..HDR Freo Sunset
*So yeah, turned out not to be a zombie attack at all, just a decaffeinated Ben on the rampage… which in many ways is worse, but more entertaining…*
I think it has something to do with what areas of the brain are active and not just pure size. Our brains have quite a bit of activity in areas that a whale or elephant does not. So why do zombies not dine on primates other than the homo sapien variety?
Think of a one on one fight between a zombie and your average unarmed human. Not pretty, and the human fared not well at all. Now think of a similarly unarmed one on one between a zombie and a gorilla. Yeah, now you see it. Now a zombie and a orangutan. Yeah, scrap the zombie Clyde!
Humans are the mignon in the brainmeat case at the zombie shopping center. We’re physically weakest on our species branch of the tree.
I like that. Canned brain food drive.
How bout in a box?
mongobreads last post..Gemcraft Chapter Zero
Maybe it is the percentage of brain that is used that is appealing? We use more of our brains, do we not? I do know that it is a paltry 10% or so…perhaps it is simply supply and demand? They want it, and there are over 6 billion of us to give them what they want? I’m going with that one.
…or maybe it is because there are always a few of us willing to explore that sinister noise at the bottom of the basement stairs when they know there is a zombie fest going on outside that’s already claimed half the town….
Meghanns last post..Sweet Saturday: A Wonderful Gift From a Wonderful Woman
I’m sorry, but that is a really bad statistic. We use most of our brain, just not all the time.
Some parts we use very rarely, but they are specialised and only suited to certain tasks.
Bens last post..Cody
Yeah, it’s annoying that the whole “we only use a small part of our brains!” myth is still accepted as common knowledge by most. I guess it appeals to the new age fallacy of humanity’s infinite potential.
The Great Joe Bivinss last post..Comic Comments WOO BACK YES.
Maybe it’s because we are more attractive?
Giving “food for thought” a whole new meaning.
golfwidows last post..himalayan me out flat
this is soooo me… always thinking about food…