It seems this week has started with an energy related theme. It’s not intentional, I’m just easily influenced… How can I not think about fuel when it seems that every week brings an announcement of rapidly increasing bills?

If it wasn’t for the fact that the weather is so messed up, some of us would be in for a very cold winter.

I lived without heating of any kind for nearly a year – it’s a miserable experience. Fortunately I was young, well fed and in possession of a suitably equipped wardrobe. I also had heated places I could go – I was in very little danger of death…

But let’s reverse the circumstances, what if I was old, under-fed and not in the possession of a suitably equipped wardrobe… what if I had nowhere to go? I’d be in trouble.

There’s a lot of old, under-fed and unsuitably dressed people out there.

And it’s not just fuel bills, it’s all utilities and even the water companies have jumped on the bandwagon. Obviously they can’t use the excuse that we are running out of supplies, or that the price of water is inexplicably linked to the price of oil (as gas is), so instead they have used the following gambit – ‘We are raising prices so that we can improve our service for future customers’.

Isn’t that like making you pay more for a bad meal so that the next customer can have a better one?

I don’t know whether it is their arrogance, limited intelligence or lack of sound-making mouth parts, but bugs are awful conversationalists. They are good at biting though, you’ve got to give them that.

It’s part of what I call the winter pay-off.  In brief, there are so many things about winter in this country that make it a misery, that there must also be many things that make it better to compensate. The lack of biting insects for example is the direct result of the cold, wet weather.

I also enjoy the fact that the short days mean you can legitimately crack open a bottle of port at 4pm.

All I need to do now is think of a positive side to the lethal slipperiness of the steep, icy streets outside.

There’s a pun in the title there, especially for those of you that prefer single-celled critters to humans.

And before you start, I know, mucus shouldn’t have a colour… not if you’re healthy anyway, but generally, you only see it when you’re ill.

It’s officially bug season in the UK. I could talk about the epidemiology of it in detail, but the brief overview is that students, from all over the world have moved back into close confined spaces provided by the universities. This influx of people also brings an influx of microbes – the cramped conditions of university dorms mean that they spread like wildfire.

It’s a good way to separate the wheat from the chaff.

There is one thing bothering me though. The bit about the blue and yellow bacteria is true, but how come I have never seen anyone with blue snot? Does anyone know or has anyone seen an example of this that doesn’t include someone putting a Biro up their nose first?